The white bench in the Green Fields

The White Bench

She's a girl, a really beautiful girl, but, more than that, I suppose she is what you would call, alluring. She always seems surrounded by others, some boys even take photographs of her and sell them at lunch behind The Big Oak Tree.

I don't want to say that I am not like them. For I have found myself staring at her more times than I would like to admit. But I am definitely not as adamant as others when it comes to her personality. I have this small inkling that there is no way she can be that perfect.
But, what do I, Ayanami Rei, know about Asuka Langley Soryu? Apart from the surface level things that she shows the world I know nothing. And I still have the will to say that there is something off about her. But maybe I'm just way too observant. I have nothing better to do after all.

The only thing, or well, person that connects Asuka and I is my only acquaintance, Shinji Ikari. I’m tempted to call him my friend but I'm not too sure. I’m mostly positve that he only talks to me out of pity. Or maybe he sees himself in me, I think he was bullied when he was younger.
He’s quite popular now though, not on the level of Asuka, but he comes into conversations I overhear a lot.

Sometimes people even go as far as to say that they’re secret lovers.. I don’t want that, but I don’t know why. Asuka gets love letters shoved into her locker every day. I thought that was out of fashion, and so does Asuka apparently, because every time she opens her locker she says the same thing,
“Really? More!? Ugh have some fucking creativity for once!” She then continues to scoop them out and let them fall on the floor. She stomps on them depending on her mood. Sometimes Ikari would be beside her, he’d say something about how, “they poured their heart and soul into those cards” and that she’s “stomping on their hearts.” Because of this, I find them being together highly unlikely, or maybe it’s more likely?

I return home to my dull apartment in the dingy streets beside the Chinese takeaway. I do this every day. I enter, then I only leave to attend school or go shopping. Some may say it’s dull, but I know nothing else, so it’s as bright as my life gets.

I eat the same course of meals every week at my kitchenette, mostly consisting of tofu, green beans, broccoli, and potatoes. I never ‘spice it up’, I see no need. It’s nutrience after all. Astronauts do the same and they don’t get criticized for it.

I think I would like to see space, to see the Earth from the outside, all of the little cities and lights. Would you be able to see lights from space? Would they look like how stars do to us on Earth? That’s what I want to find out. I never will though. I’ll just stay in my apartment.

Lunchtime truly is the worst part of the day. I don’t bring lunch, I see no need. I just sit on a bench near the flower fields at the back of the school and read my book. In the beginning people took pity on me and tried to engage in conversation. I just needed to look at them and then they’d run away. Am I really that scary? Word spread around that I was a ‘loner’ and that I was impossible to speak to. I suppose they’re not wrong.

~》♡《~

I’m sitting on the white bench. The paint is chipped as it has been ruined by the elements, I don’t mind this. After all, I only need it to sit on.

The only bit of ‘excitement’ I get in my life is staying on this bench reading after school. I sometimes go sit in the fields if the bench is really getting to me. But, today is not one of those days so I sit reading on the bench.

The bell has already rung its eight bell chime signifying that schooltime is over when I sense a presence to my right. It’s strange really, how you can actually sense when someone is there, you don’t even need to turn your head to know someone is there. I’m sure that when you get to know someone better you can sense who is there. But I can’t. So I’m tasked with guessing. I’m bad at guessing.