Alexithymia (Avengers : Age Of Ultron)

Chapter 1

After about a week of being home, i felt, different and after the many questions, so many "Are you sure you're okay?", i guess i kinda broke, exploded, per say. It was like i suddenly unlocked a piece of myself. I became very sensitive to sounds, voices. I could hear them talking about me from across the building. It also seemed my emotions were, heighted i guess you could say, which was scary because i already felt alot for things before this, its like it made it worse. I had headaches for days until, i figured things out. I also found that i heal, quicker then normal and just between banner and me, we somehow think i can probably heal others, although that one hasn't been fully tested, mainly because i'm terrified.

"Jules?" I hear someone say pulling me from my thoughts. I shake my head and look to see Steve is now outside the elevator holding the doors.

"I'm sorry." I say apologetically and run out. I avoid making eye contact with Steve and continue forward. I feel a hand grab my elbow and pull me back. I sigh and turn to look at Steve, who is looking at me with that look, that look i hate, pity, worry. I glare at him and shake my head.

"You know you can talk to me right? About anything?" He says smiling slightly. I smile back and nod. "Of course" I say because i honestly would, just not right now. 

"Ill see you later." He says before squeezing my arm and walking away. Steve and i have always been close, i mean i'm close with all of the avengers but he's just so easy to talk to about whatever is on my mind.

I shake my head before walking up the stair over to Banner's lab. I smile at Helen and Bruce before walking over to Nat. She smiles before throwing her arm over my shoulder, i smile down to Clint and grab his hand.

"How are you doing old man?" I ask looking back up to Helen with worried eyes.

"I'm fine. No need to worry." He says squeezing my hand before closing his eyes, looking in pain.

"There's no possibility of deterioration. The Nano-molecular functionality is instantaneous. His cells don't know they're bonding with simulacrum" Helen says while standing over him checking everything.

"She's creating tissue" Bruce says amazed. I smile at him. 

"If you brought him to my lab, the regeneration Cradle could do this in twenty minutes" Helen says to us before walking to her Station. I lean against the wall and watch Clint. I will admit, when i heard Clint was hurt, i was scared. He was one of the very first people that i really let myself get close to. He took care of me when my so called parents didn't want to, but that's not a story for today.

"Oh, he's flatlining. Call it. Time?" Tony says while walking in with green smoothies in hand. I shake my head at him and giggle.

"No, no i'm going to live forever. I'm gonna be made of plastic." Clint says making me slap his knee.

"You'll get to live your dream out as Barbie before you know it." I state before turning away when he glares at me. Tony winks at me before passing Clint his drink.

"You'll be made of you, Mr. Barton. Your own girlfriend won't be able to tell the difference." Helen tells him.

"Well i don't have a girlfriend" Clint says before drinking his green juice. I smile down at him and then my shoes before walking to the door. I place my drink down, pull my tablet out and check my emails.

"That i cant fix." She says to him while leaning on the table next to him "This the next thing tony. Your clunky metal suits are going to be left in the dust." Helen states smirking proudly.

"Well, that is exactly the plan. And Helen, i expect to see you at the party on Saturday." Tony says placing his right hand into his pocket, Before looking around the room.

"Unlike you, i don't have a lot of time for parties." She says hesitating for a moment. I raise my eyebrow and look up to her. "Will Thor be there?" She finally says after a minute. 

"So ill see you all there." Tony says proudly before walking out the door towards his lab. I shake my head and lean back on the desk and continue to look through a bunch of reports.

"And what excuse are you going to use this time to try to get out of this party, And let me just add that it never checks out." Nat says giving me a look. I sigh before looking to her.

"I have to go feed my cat." I say while nodding my head confidently.

"You don't have a cat, and you live here. That's the best lie you could come up with?" She says throwing her arm over my shoulder. "I thought i taught you better."

"I don't like parties and you know that." She shakes her head at me.

"You love parties. Come on, it will be funnn. We can get ready together." I sigh. Its not that i don't like parties or anything, stark always throws the best ones but today i just wasn't feeling it. The room had mixed energy's so that could be part of my shifty moods. I nod before rubbing Clint's head and nodding to Helen.

"I talk to yall later." I say before grabbing my things and heading out to finish all my paperwork.

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A couple hours later after i finally finished all my work, i was able to hide in my room for a while. I didn't always live in stark tower but when things went down with hydra and me, i just kind blanked, i pretended like everything was fine, the others knew something was wrong, that i was in denial, they kept asking me if i was okay. You can only say that your fine so long before you just break. Tony suggested i come live with them, and after a week of fighting i just decided that he was right, it would be what's best for me. So they all packed me up and helped me settle in. Turns out, it was the best decision for me. 

I shake myself out of my thoughts when my watch vibrates with a reminder. I sigh before standing up and walk out my room. Check up time.