𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯 · 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘥 ⁶

𝟔.𝟓

"It is not the time to make out, Bellamy."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Aren't the rest awake?" She eyed me. "Even if only you saw the tape I know for a fact they will all be freaking out."

"Right."

I nodded and ran my hand through my hair, watching as she started to walk in front of me. It had felt weird, but she had been right. We couldn't keep the rest waiting and walking in circles just because I couldn't get my head out of the gutter.

"Okay, so, your body has been awake for an extra five years." I caught up with her as she nodded, "Elaborate."

"My mind has been awake for 10? 12 years?" Her brows furrowed in concentration for a second before she let go of the tension on her face. "I'm not sure."

"How?"

"I could stay awake inside The Flame. Becca figured it out one day and we tried it. Time in there also moves... differently." She shrugged her shoulders. "It's complicated."

"Who gets you out of cryo."

"I can bypass the system, but mostly it's all Becca. Her conscience can travel this ship as she pleases. Mine too when my body's in cryo."

"Do the other Commanders not... want to be away from you?"

"They are attached to the Flame. Only Malachi likes to get out, but I don't trust him not to fuck shit up, so Becca created a code to only allow him to leave in the gym where he has his fun attempting to kill me." I looked at her. "It's a joke. Sorry, it's too soon for you, but for me, it's been plenty of time."

"How's your relationship with them?"

"I guess we're like a little family. Well, it's definitely not little." She laughed gently as she spoke. "We just happen to share my body. Frankly, they could've been stuck with worse. That was the general sentiment 100 years ago."

"And now?"

"Now they all have grown fond of me." She grinned. "They aren't so bad, you know? It's just complicated, being only your conscience and all, having lived for so long."

"So you're going to keep it?"

"The Flame?" I nodded. "Yes. Wonkru believes in us and I will not betray that trust. Plus, to ease your worries, Kai won't attempt to kill me again, he's grown very fond of me, as expected since I'm fantastic."

Sam chuckled. I knew she had been with them for years, but to me, the image of her scars was imprinted in my brain, what Roan and Octavia had told me, what Lila had murmured... It was too brutal to forget.

"So Sheidheda is Malachi." Sam nodded. "And you gave him a nickname?"

"You have no idea how irritating it is to be screaming Malachi every other second for a whole month." My eyes settled on her and she sighed, rolling her eyes at me and throwing her hands in the air dramatically. "Okay, fine. I am guilty of befriending the Dark Commander. You are not going to tell me anything the others haven't tried already. And you shouldn't be surprised either."

"Sam, he's dangerous."

"And he tried to kill me. I know that. He lives in my head. I know everything about him." She paused her step and turned on her heels to stand directly in front of me. "Do you want me to tell you how many people have wanted and/or attempted to kill me and I've ended up befriending?" She narrowed her eyes as she unfocused her gaze from mine. "Come to think about it, maybe I do have issues."

"I'm just... I don't want you to get hurt again."

"I won't, trust me."

"I do." I nodded. "What else?"