Can't wait to write peoms again, can't wait to complete my book! I miss 2018/2019 when everything was freely flowing through me and I had no fear.
I was filled with hope that I was full of beauty that needs to be expressed. I was sure it was my time to shine and I loved every step buildingmy project. 2020 got me impulsive, jumping into places I didn't belong, wanting to steal love from people who didn't have any themselves and then I was spiraling in shame for too long. I was unable to forgive myself and certain that all the pain will finally mold me into an undefeated awareness that will carry me forward as I closed myself away from love.
I'm not healed yet but I've gotten better.
I'm not shining yet but I smile.
I know I deserve what I want and I will no longer fight to be loved again. I will let the words flow through me even when they are dark. I will let the shame be seen, I will let my mind surface the beauty it's suppressing under the dark blanket of silence. I will love. I will choose to love.