you separated your paragraphs in a nice length, so it's easier on the eyes for the reader. Good to see a lot of dialogue and interaction between characters.
Cool story. It was a bit confusing at first, but maybe I'm just slow today, cause I eventually figured it out. :) Nicely written.
I love how the descriptions make the plot seem brighter with every move the characters take.
Very good dewcription and grammar. I honsetly think nate is so nieve for not noticing, melianies feeling for him. Voted! And very much liked!
Very well written... I could see a little more description with the characters but other then that Its very good. xox
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| Name | Nadia Hambali |
| Location | Los Angeles, California |
| Member Since | Feb 07, 2012 |
| Votes Received | 378 |