Wow really interesting beginning and original story, I have never read anything like this! Loved it!
The dialogue is good, but you just need to have a new line for each new person, so it won't be so confusing. :)
WOW!?!?!! Best ive read in a WHILE. why doesnt this have more views. OMG love it. <3
What an interesting and unique plot line! :) Definitely intrigued by your first chapter. Voted, and I'm off to your next chapter! :D
This is good. It's intriguing, and you get into the action without throwing us in, so it's an enjoyable experience. I'm going on to the next chapter!
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