"Welcome to the United States of America. Please proceed calmly through the customs pathogen checkpoint. Make sure to close your eyes and hold your breath while passing through the detoxification chamber. If you have not previously been immunized, please alert your customs officer immediately and you will be vaccinated. Vaccines are free for citizens of the US, the UK, and EU member nations excluding Greece..." "Please be vigilant of your surroundings and report any individual who appears to be sick to the nearest TSA officer. Signs of the White Plague include heavy coughing, dizziness, sudden weakness, noticeably pale or sickly parlor, bleeding from the nose, ears, and eyes along with clouding of the iris. Do not approach these individuals unless you have received a BioTech United Vaccine at least one week prior or are wearing a protective hazmat suit..." "Our children are our future. Protect yours and your neighbor's--get vaccinated today." "Bienvenidos a los Estados Unidos..."