I feel sorry for those people dude. D: you made me have feelings towards a book. Good start. Good start. :) I the like frame thingy oo :D
I like this story but one previous commentary said its a been too long for my taste maybe you can break it down into 2
Wow, that was compelling! It all felt very real, and I felt so very, very sorry for those people (which means you made me care about them, of course).
I'm not a fan of ten page chapers but I know why it had so many pages. Your description is good, I like where this story is going. The events are good as well
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