Well you start out like, "Hi my name is Violet" Your telling us that, maybe change the fist sentence?
Good, but it almost seems like you are telling us, it is not flowing very well Other then that, pretty. good. :)
Very nice very nice:) I like all the detail it makes the chapter come to life more. Im off to read the other chapters so see ya at the end lol:D
Your choice to write this in present tense is very interesting. Just be careful not to switch back and forth between present and past tense of your verbs.
Add to your private library
My LibraryAdd this story to your public reading lists