Oh, Ana. How did this happen? Kate Kavanagh held her best friend's hand. Ana Steele Grey had been beaten savagely by her husband, Christian. She was covered from head to toe in bruises. Her ribs and arm had been broken. He forced himself on her afterward. Apparently, he had done this before.
I bet she thought she was just being punished by her Dominant. If only she knew that this isn't how a good Dom behaves. Ana had come home from work late that terrible night. Christian was angry that she didn't call. He accused her of cheating on him and dragged her into the bedroom. That's when he went too far.
Kate, Ana's mother and step-father had staged an intervention only a few days earlier. They were worried about Ana. She had no idea her husband was an abuser. They showed her some pamphlets on domestic violence. They even brought information from people in the BDSM community on the difference between healthy, consensual BDSM and abuse. Ana had been stunned.
Ana didn't know stalking was abusive. She didn't know that fearing your partner's anger was a sign of domestic violence. She had changed her behavior to try and please him but it never seemed to work. He raged when she was in the company of another man or when she disobeyed him. He had her followed every minute of the day. Her punished her out of anger and had the nerve to call it BDSM. Ana thought she could change Christian by dragging him into the light.
If only she knew... Kate thought to herself. She thought we were just trying to break them up. She said we could never understand the love they shared. I understood, though. She was groomed from the start. He isolated her with that non-disclosure agreement the police found. At least Christian was finally arrested and the children are safe. I wish I could say the same about Ana. The doctor said she isn't likely to wake from this coma.
Kate began to sob. I knew he was dangerous! I tried to warn her... Wait, what am I saying? It's never the victim's fault. Oh, Ana. Even Kate's husband, Elliot knew something was deeply wrong with his brother, Christian. He harbored an unhealthy rage toward his birth mother. He picked Ana because she looked like her. Christian had been seeing a therapist but Dr. Flynn only enabled him further. I'm glad he's losing his licence. Dr. Flynn violated his duty to warn. He knew Christian was dangerous but he didn't warn Ana. He even convinced her to stay with him. What kind of a therapist does that?
"Kate, it's time to go. The children need us at home now." Elliot put his hand on Kate's shoulder. As she stood he embraced her. "I know this is hard my love but it's not just our daughter we need to look after now." Elliot and Kate had gained custody of Ana's children.
"Ana's mom should be here tomorrow. We're going to end Ana's pain. I don't know if I can watch her pass away, though." Kate sobbed even harder. Her husband just held her.
A few days later they held the funeral. Ana had passed away peacefully. Christian was being charged with murder.
****A year later****
"Thank you everyone for being here tonight as we open the Anastasia Steele Memorial Shelter!" Kate looked on the crowd. So many people had shown up. The donation goal was exceeded. I hope Ana is proud of us.
"I want to tell you the story of my best friend, Ana. She was twenty-one when she met her abuser. She had never been in a relationship before. She was naive in many ways but she had a big heart. She often tried to please people and her self-esteem was low. Abusers look for people like that."
"Ana was swept off her feet by Christian Grey. Unfortunately, all the red flags were there. She just didn't see them. Many victims of domestic violence don't. Nobody tells you what emotional abuse is. The media is full of books and movies about the ideal rich, attractive man. They tell us to ignore their bad behavior. They tell us that we can change them but that is so wrong."
"To paraphrase an article from the Guardian, 'graveyards and shelters are full of women who met their Christian Grey.' He told Ana that everything he did was part of BDSM. He told her that if she didn't do what he wanted, he would leave her. Ana feared Christian but she also feared life without him."
"Threats, sexual assault and beatings have no place in a healthy, consensual BDSM relationship. A Dominant does not punish their submissive out of anger like Christian did to Ana. A Dominant listens to his submissive's limits and respect them. A Dominant does not rape their submissive! Getting someone drunk in order to obtain consent is rape. Having your submissive genuinely fear punishment and saying no to you is not BDSM. It's abuse."
"Ana was isolated from her friends and loved ones. In the end, he completely controlled her. She was followed by his security. He bought her place of employment. He got into her bank account. I could go on and on. Her personal agency was taken from her. Finally, he just had enough of that 'smart mouth' he said he loved so much. He beat her into a coma and she died."
"This is why we need comprehensive sex education with information on healthy relationships and consent. This is why we need to fund shelters and open more - for men and women. We need to teach our children what abuse is."
"Ana has not died in vain. I hope this shelter will mark a new beginning for battered partners who leave their abusers. I hope it is a safe place to heal. Thanks to your donations, it will be."
A thunderous applause followed the end of Kate's speech. She found her husband, Ana's mother and the children waiting for her off stage. They all hugged one another. I hope you finally found freedom Ana. We love you always.
*For more information about the warning signs of domestic violence present in Fifty Shades of Grey, please visit my blog: http://50shadesofabuse.wordpress.com/warning-signs/. I also recommend following @50shadesabuse and @50shadesisabuse on Twitter. Jenny Trout (http://www.jennytrout.com), Ket and Gehayi (http://das-sporking.livejournal.com/242338.html) and Cliff Pervocracy (http://pervocracy.blogspot.com/) have also done an amazing job pointing out the abuse in this series. Please listen to us Cosmo. A lot of us have survived our own Christian Greys. We wouldn't wish him on anyone.*
