Yours Truly, Me: Outtakes (Troyler)

✉️Letter #1✉️

Dear Tyler,

So, I'm writing you a letter right now. But it's not fan-mail. Don't worry, it's not hate or anything! I admire you a lot as person! I'm writing a letter, not sure if you're going to read it or not, just because I need to vent some things out, and I want to take comfort in knowing that either someone is listening, or no one in the world will know these things about me.

I guess you could say I'm depressed. But I don't act like it, because I refuse to consider taking antidepressants. I think they make you empty, and numb, not just getting rid of the pain, but everything else too. Without emotions, are we even human?

Anyways, I'm not sure why I'm depressed. I thought for a while that it was because I've never been in love. But I've never even had the opportunity. See, I'm 16, I'm gay, and I live somewhere where gay marriage isn't legal, and I don't really have friends as it is, much less gay ones. Besides, I don't even think I know what love is. Why should I go looking for it.

I'm out, so I'm not dreading that or anything. My family, my one 'close' friend knows, my... acquaintances, I'll refer to them as on here, know. It's really not that big of a deal. Being straight isn't a big deal, so why should my 'strictly dickly' preferences be a big deal.

I have a wonderful family life, so that's not why I'm depressed. They're not homophobic, they love me and care a ton about me, so what more could I ask for? By the way, I have both parents, a younger sister, a younger brother, and an older brother.

Maybe I'm depressed from many things? Maybe I'm depressed because I'm not even sure if anything is depressing me? I don't even know. Anyways, I'm pretty much writing all of this to you because in order to not be diagnosed as depressed, I have to censor myself around everyone I know. But, even though I've watched every single one of your videos more than a few times, i technically don't know you, and you definitely don't know me. So, I can be true and out there on this piece of paper.

I don't know why I want to mail it, though. I could just as easily throw this paper away, or burn it, or something along those lines, but I guess I want someone to listen to me. But at the same time, it might be better if no one knew about what I think. I don't know, but I'll take comfort on different days, depending on one or the other. At least one of them is true, I just don't know which one.

Just so you know, I may or may not send more letters, just letting myself out. I haven't felt this great in a long time. But I won't tell, you who I am, simply because you could easily find me. I won't put a return address, because I want you to keep it.

I sincerely hope we can meet someday. Take comfort in knowing I watched your videos, and several others', to get the courage to come out. I think we could be best friends, if given the chance.

But I still don't think I could look you in the eye, if you I was the face behind the letter(s) if we meet. Thanks for either having the decency to listen to what I had to say ( write ), or having the decency to let my thoughts stay private. Whichever.

Yours Truly,

Me

How does the nostalgia feel?

Okay, so I just copied the letter from the prologue for the first chapter, because I hopefully plan on doing all of the letters over time, but we shall see. I've been wanting to an expert thing for a long time, but I've had so many other things on my plate. But now that II ( Internet Infatuation ) is probably 3/4 of the way done, I figured it was an appropriate time to finally get this thing started.

Incase you happen to be here before reading the actual story this is taken from, go read Yours Truly, Me ( Troyler ) on this account, TheSugarcubeSaga. It's by far my greatest story, but you can check out my other stuff as well. Mostly Troyler, but II is a fanfiction involving not only Troyler, but other popular YouTube ships, such as Phan, Jaspar, and Hartbig.

Also, just to clarify, YTM finished a while ago. Like, at least three months ago. I go through to edit it a lot, because I always have a lot of typos, so don't let the completion date fool you. The same goes for all of my other stuff.

Alright, that's it. Love ya!

∞Hope