Gotta Let You Go

I gotta let you go.
I don't want to do this, no I really don't.

But I've tried, I can't, no I can't.
You really just don't understand.

You're too toxic for me and my life.
My future's getting dim where it should be bright.

I've been living with regret, but I won't
Stay here if it means I keep on nearly catching strokes.

I've always thought that I needed you.
But it turns out that I was just feeding you.
Had me thinking that I was misleading you.
But then I remembered that I never once mistreated you.
I haven't ever lied to you once, stole, or cheated you.
But you always had me begging, even though I was planning on leaving you.

When I aimed for greatness,
You skewed my vision, and I missed the mark.
I should've known that's when it all began, but I dismissed it 'til later.
Pied the Piper should've payed to pick my pickle into the pavement the way he picked the part.

He chose you, who I want to blame.
But that's not fair to you or me, so I blame the game.

I blame the hate that life has for me.
I hate how I constantly put out my feelings in such a structured fashion just for no one to hear my STORY!
But I stay to hear other people, and half of them BORE me!
I'm losing my mind, so I go to find it, call me Dory.

The pain of empathy comes with a pricey price.
I don't usually get so livid, but with the way life is, you can't be nice.
So I hoped you'd be the substitute, but you weren't de-nice (the nice)
Person I hoped you'd be, so I'm done with the lies!

As much as I want to feel apathy, there's a bad price for it.
I have to give up my soul, my mind, my heart, and everything that makes me me, that makes me human and that's not the path I'm forging.

I hate this.
I despise the agitation, I loathe the hate that influences the way that

I feel about you.
But maybe that's what it's meant to be, maybe I was always meant to be without you.

I'm usually too nice
To get impolite.

But since you won't be real, I'll spit fire on your skin to see if you're plastic.
I'm so flexible that you can see the stretch marks that show that I'm elastic.

You make me depressed...
No, I do; you just exploit my self-doubt and help me think my worth is even less.

I make myself unlikable to my eyes because you and the world have it all.
But in your face, we both just laugh it off.
And now you won't have even the slight feeling to want to laugh at all.
We're connected by branches, so I'll leave you be; I'll just pray that you're the one who has to snap it off.
You get hot off my misery, so I've packed the sauce.
I want to grab your stuff, and I just want to pack it all.

I'm done hating you.
I'm tired, I've lost weight and I don't even care to play with you.
We had good times, but that left when you ensured that I couldn't stay with you.
I'm so happy that you made the bed, because I'm saving myself for someone who isn't just here to lay with you.

I gotta let you go.
I don't want to do this, no I really don't.

But I've tried, I can't, no I can't.
You really just don't understand.

You're too toxic for me and my life.
My future's getting dim where it should be bright.

I've been living with regret, but I won't
Stay here if it means I keep on nearly catching strokes.

Something about me was a gold mine, that's how I knew you were gold digging.
Or at least you tried, but you couldn't get away with it.

People told me that I'll see success.
But I don't even believe them because I don't rest.

I put in work, but I see no results.
I'm not in the right place to work, so me putting the effort is an insult.

I'm a stressing machine,
So I pray to God that he keeps giving whatever blessings I need.

I can't stand the fact that I dislike you.
It's out of character for me, and it scares me that I want to actually fight you.

I'm afraid of myself already, but life comes to make it worse.
I don't mind because I've lost it.
I don't have the heart to keep this up because I gave it to you so it could work.
I don't even have a soul, because I gave to you free of charge; it's like I sold it and now I'm cursed.

Life, you take my breath away.
If it kills to live, then I should at the mercy of Death today.
I've dreamt of days
Where I can be at peace with everything, but I'm homeless and still in school, this ain't cool, don't have a job to provide, so I've kept away

My talents.
Speaking of my poetry, my drawings and my knowledge, what happened?
I don't know, maybe because I'm speaking to a blackened
Void, yelling for a small audience to help, but you're not here, so my demons are laughing.

I have my own demons, that's why I pray to God.
I need a few miracles, so I can get into a place with my twin bro and my mom.
Find an application after I stop abnormally failing in school and I look for a job.
I need a few miracles to help me keep my faith and optimism intact because this pain does not

Bode well for me.
I'll be bet that these "people" wouldn't go to Heaven and Hell for me.

But the friends know this, but my teachers know this, and my people know this.
But no one noticed
How I've expressed this through poetry, and no one wants to be near my good works like it's COVID.
But if take a gun out loaded,
Hold the suicide note that
Says "Screw all of you who bullied me, and screw all you who told me that I'm gifted but never chose to open",

That's the time when everyone has to hear me.
That's when YOU have to hear me, but I won't make you fear me.

Just know that I feel all these things, but I will just let you go to where you came.
I won't do a you, and harm you because I feel the rage.

I just can't forgive you.
What you did to my heart, I can't forget you.
I'm the only one here actually making legit moves
On this chessboard; when I win, I'll say "Nice game" and still respect you.

The sky's the limit when this life is in the equation.
So I have to waste my time on it, and you, to advance to the outer and bigger spaces.

I was too dependent on you to succeed.
Because you wanted to be a deity, you asked the wrong god if I could bleed.

I'm still pointing fingers, but I can't keep blaming myself.
Because of different circumstances, I've been through hell.
This is a weird story to tell.
I gotta let you go, even if means that I miss out on you doing well.

Because people come and go.
So I do I, that's why I don't need your throat.

We've talked too much, but I'm in need of my quiet.
I'm sick of life promising me my reward, just to wait and think you're all lying... to me.

I'm sorry that I couldn't compromise my morals to be your preferred friend.
I'm sorry to my younger self for being so serious and pessimistic with optimism, but this life destroyed our family to no end.

I'm sorry to the people that actually respect me enough to chat with me on the daily.
I just try to be strong for all of you, at my own expense, and it's slowly driving me crazy.

I'm just here to let you know,
That I have needs and wants like you, so to get them, I gotta let you go.