Severus Snape and the Time He Texted the Wrong Number

1.

Sunday AM 

(11:02) Am I doing this right, Albus? 

(11:09) if ur goal was to not text albus, then yup

(11:10) albus is a badass name, btw, tell them their name is sick

(11:12) My apologies, I thought I was messaging my colleague. Also, you may want to consider using a dictionary if you cannot spell 'you're'. 

(11:13) wow, albus would never insult me like you

(11:14) he doesnt deserve you're friendship

(11:16) *Your. Please, spare me from your awful grammar if you insist on replying.  

(11:19) lol i was taking the piss that time 

(11:19) i'll leave you to your riveting convo with al

(11:22) Never nickname my boss again. 

(11:25) oh alfred! i like you much more than grammar-freak-text-guy!

(11:26) Alfred? You can't just take someone's nickname to make another name. 

(11:27) grammar police AND nickname sergeant? thank you for your contributions to society

(11:29) It's with a heavy heart that I accept the responsibilities of correcting the appalling behavior of wrong numbers. 

(11:30) and we appreciate your servitude.

(11:31) alan is lucky to have such a hard working subordinate

(11:32) I thought we moved past this appalling nicknamery. 

(11:33) Also, piss off, I know you were trying to insult me by calling me his subordinate. 

(11:34) eh, we're all someone's subordinate in the grand scheme of life in a capitalist society.

(11:35) and apparently, harassing wrong numbers is a great hangover cure so if i want to continue my 'nicknamery' of alexander, i will

(11:35) nicknamery also sounds super cute!? 

(11:36) It's an accurate description of the act, nothing cute about it. 

(11:37) And hungover at nearly noon? How old are you? 

(11:40) its hella cute! ill give u a nickname too!

(11:41) it's the weekend DAD get off my case. im 26 though, so nothing illegal going on here, just a quarter life crisis

(11:42) Great to know I should never tell you my name. 

(11:44) dont be like that! you do have to tell me how old you are now, though

(11:45) fair's fair

(11:48) I'm 33. 

(11:49) You can tell me your name, if you would like to. 

(11:52) no offense, but i dont want to give my real name to a stranger

(11:53) stranger danger, and whatnot

(11:53) maybe someday

(11:54) It's fine. 

(11:54) I should go. Someone's knocking on my door. 

(11:54) sure! ttyl

(11:55) this was cool, random guy