The Unseen Murderer

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CHAPTER 1: Heart Break Warfare 

      I was wrapped tightly in his arms. Exactly where I wanted to be, wrapped up in the sweaty heat of The Club's atmosphere, people all around us, moving their bodies to the beat of the music blaring out of The Club's speakers. He was slightly sweaty but that was okay because I was probably sweating more than he was and he still didn't care. My head was resting lazily on his chest, my cheek to his heart, feeling his heartbeat on it. His cheek was resting heavily on the top of my head. He suddenly took his cheek off my head. I looked up, confused. He was looking into my face already and saw the questioning look in my eyes. He chuckled and looked around, his eyes halted on something. I made to turn and look at what he was looking at but he tightened his grip on my waist, making me unable to turn around. His eyes were still on whatever he was looking at, he nodded and smiled just a little. The corners of his mouth turning up in just the slightest way.  I was so confused. Slowly his head turned to face my direction, our faces were less than 2 inches apart. We were so close. Then, slowly, very slowly, he leaned forward and our lips touched for a single second and then they reluctently parted.

      That night, when I got home I was all smiles. I couldn't stop smiling. My mom asked me what I was smiling so much about and I told her that I had had my first kiss. I was so excited. I went to bed that night and thought about how the kiss felt, how his lips felt against mine. I thought about it until I fell asleep and then probably dreamed about it. I woke up the next morning, still thinking about it, and made myself some breakfast. After I ate my pancakes and sausages I signed on to Facebook. I started to chat with him after checking everything that I needed to check.

      "Hey." I said, wanting to know how well I kissed.

      "Hey, what's up?" He asked.

      " Nothing, you?" I wonder.

      "Nothing... We need to talk."

      As I read his reply a rock dropped into my stomach. Please don't let this happen!  I urgently thought to myself. I had this happen to me enough times to know that when a boy says anything like, "we need to talk", that means trouble is in your near future. Fearing the worst but hoping for the best I tentatively responded:

      "About what?" This time, it took him longer to answer.

      "I think we need to see other people." The rock in my stomach disappeared, only to be replaced a moment later by my breaking heart. Yep, it happened. Of course it happened. This always happens to me.

      "What?" Was my simple reply, yet it held so much more meaning than just "what", it ment, "your leaving me? Why? What did I do wrong?"

      "I'm sorry." Was his only answer. I was starting to feel the blood of my broken heart rushing through my body. Attacking everything in it's path, ripping it apart, bit by little bit. Tears spilled out of my eyes as I sat and stared at the computer screen. I couldn't stop them, I couldn't have, even I had tried. They poured down my face, splashing onto my jeans, staining them a dark, deep blue. I sat there and thought about everything.

      Here I was, just last night, thinking that I had kissed the perfect guy for me, and here he was the very next day, tearing my heart to shreds. He took something from me last night, something I can never get back, no matter how much I wanted it back. I would never be able to retrieve my first kiss from the guy I thought I loved.

      "Why?" I finally demanded through the ocean of tears coursing down my face.

      "I didn't feel any passion." He says as if this happens every day.

      "With what?" I asked, typing the message with shaking hands.

      " The kiss."  The answer was simple yet it tore my heart into even smaller pieces that fluttered gently back down into the pit of my stomach.

      I had to fix this, I wasn't about to let this happen to me again, I learned my lesson the first time.

      "That's because it was the first kiss, it never has any passion because you don't know what the hell your doing." I said desperatly. Trying to convince him to change his mind. I just couldn't let this happen again.

      "I'm sorry." He said again. That's all. No explaination, no excuses. Straight forward, no buttering anything up to cushon the blow. He left me to fend for myself. To find my own way to crash down back to earth from cloud 9 without getting turned into a pancake. My world was crashing down around me, and I wanted to fix it all but I didn't have the strength anymore to hold it up. So I had to let it go and let it crash down, down into a pile of ruble at my feet. I felt like someone had just punched a hole in my chest and left me there to die. I felt like nothing was ever going to get better and that I should just end my life now. For a scary moment, I seriously thought about it, and then I shook myself out of my revire.

      "No." I quietly told myself. I have lots of people who would die on the inside if I was dead. I couldn't bear the pain though. The pain was to much, it was all just to much. I ran to my room and screamed into my pillow. I paced around the room, I punched walls and nothing seemed to help ease my pain. Come on Rikki! I thought angrly to myself. Get a grip, it's only just a stupid boy. Only, it wasn't "just some stupid boy" It was the boy, the only boy, I loved with all my heart, and the only boy I couldn't just let go. This boy was my whole world. If I let him go, I let myself go and that wouldn't end well. It would end up with me dead and everyone that loved me in grief. I couldn't do that to any of us. I had to try to get Derek back.