Louder (Satan x Reader)

Louder

"I don't even use a fucking alarm anymore."

Your glare as you aggressively stab the tomato in your salad, the immediate squirt of juice that bursts forth bringing your mind to a much darker place, the very thought deepening your scowl.

"I don't even know how they do it," You continue to rant, not bothering to look into Satan's amused eyes.

"At five in the fucking morning, too. Every goddamn day. Like a pair of dumb donkeys that don't know how to do anything else. It's like clockwork. And you'd think that a shut-in like Levi would at least try to be quiet, but no! I swear to god, he screams louder with Simeon domming him than he does when he goes to Ruri-chan's concerts—and the dirty talk. Holy fuck, they both have praise kinks, and it's like if they're not moaning the entire apartment complex awake, they have to be telling each other how good it is."

The blond in front of you snorts at your description, watching you continue to abuse your salad as you doubtlessly imagine one of the two boys responsible for your lack of sleep facing the brunt of your stabs—or perhaps you're imagining yourself stabbing them in a more intimate location? One which, without a doubt, would put an end to your being woken to the sounds of sex between your roommate and his boyfriend every day?

"I'd say it's still not the most awful thing in the world," Satan finally says, choosing to speak only after you've stuffed a combination of cucumbers, lettuce, and a soggy crouton into your mouth. "Leviathan and Simeon are at least considerate. They're loud, but they fuck each other in the morning because they don't want to disturb you with the sound." Still chewing, you shoot an unimpressed look Satan's way. He puts his hands up defensively. "I never said they were good at it."

"It's hell," You hiss, the words spilling out in a low growl the moment you've swallowed. "Considerate or not, they wake me up at five in the morning when my classes don't start until eleven. Do you know what that feels like, Satan? Do you fucking know?"

"Oh please," Your best friend scoffs, his eyes narrowing. "You act like Leviathan and Simeon are bad, but Lucifer and Diavolo are ten times worse. When you wake up in the morning, at least you can do something productive once they're done because the day has begun. But my brother and his idiot boyfriend start fucking at midnight and go at it for so long that sometimes they don't stop till they hear birds chirping."

The blond exhales sharply through his nose, eyebrows furrowing in agitation. "And unlike the couple disturbing you, Lucifer doesn't care whether I'm annoyed by it because if I bang on his door and shout at him to shut up, he and Diavolo just get louder."

Now it's your turn to laugh and smile, because the image of Satan trying to sleep at eleven in the night in preparation for his morning classes while being disturbed by his brother's sexcapades is quite amusing, especially when you consider how the blonde has always hated staying up late.

"Boo-hoo," You quip with a smile, still thinking that you've been dealt the rougher hand. "You have the opportunity to plug in earbuds and a night lamp and study all night, if you want. If RAD allowed it, I wouldn't even mind trading dorms because that actually aligns with my sleep schedule, unlike the shit Simeon and Levi pull."

"Fucking night owl," Satan blurts, glaring at you—painfully jealous of the fact that, as you just mentioned, your sleeping habits would allow you to function just fine even with Lucifer and Diavolo's obnoxious sex habits.

"Fucking early bird," You respond swiftly, returning Satan's sharp glare with one of your own, all too aware of how easy things would be for him if he were in your shoes.