The final straw

The first of many

I was running. Faster then I had ever run before in my life. I needed to get out, I needed fresh air, I needed... Poe. He was the missing piece of the puzzle. I needed him more than anything else in the world. He was the one thing that could cure me, the one thing that could make me better. But my medicine was gone. And it was never coming back. It's like all of them. In weeks, my life had been changed beyond recognition, twisted and bent out of shape like a pipe a desperate scavenger might fashion into a quarterstaff.

I soon came to a gap in the tree line and it led to a peaceful clearing. Grass sprouted up and the last vestiges of moonlight slipped through the leaves. I knelt and cradled my head in my hands. I knew nothing would fill me so completely as he had. But maybe it was for the better. I needed to do what I said I had. I needed to get over him. Sehknal seemed to have done. If only he had brought Urai Fen to me. Then he could have paid for what he did. I cursed myself. I couldn't think that. Everything that lives must be regarded with the highest level of compassion. There isn't a single person who doesn't deserve love, even those who cannot afford to love themselves. Even if those take love from you. I pounded my hands into my head and tore at the grass at my feet, screaming. Screaming felt good, almost like it thrust a weight from my shoulders I had previously been unable to dislodge. Finally thinking clearly once again, I then realised in that instant that I had run in no particular direction for a rather long distance and as the sunlight stretched through the bows and warmed the back of my neck, I panicked. I scratched my forehead and stood for a second, contemplating, before taking off again and willing the Force to deliver me to my destination.

Hours passed with no sign of the base drawing any closer and with no break in the tree line in sight, I collapsed beneath the feeble shade of a large tree, leaves gently blowing in a mid-morning breeze. I settled down and cushioned my head against the coarse bark with my hands. It was so peaceful. Almost like being stuck in a singular point of serenity. A moment came and went and I sighed, relishing in the moment. A minute or two came and went without much change when I heard the bushes crashing down around me and I jumped up, looking around wide-eyed like a cornered animal. I pulled my sabre from my belt and stared at the bush where it was gently shivering. I ignited the blade and slowly backed off into the bush behind me, being enveloped by the bracken. As I broke out the other side, I could hear shouts coming from where I had just escaped. I couldn't make out a voice, nor a word, but they then called out what I could only assume were orders. I made like a cat and ran creating a cacophony I was sure they would hear, but alas no one came running and no blaster bolt hit me in the back. I focused entirely on the base, on its entrance, and for the first time in days, I wasn't thinking of Poe. It was strangely soothing, even though the adrenaline was pumping itself through my veins so hard I was surprised they didn't blow with the pressure.

Before long, I came to a stream banked by flowers on one side. I would have stopped to look at them, maybe even smell one or two. But I carried on, surging through the water as it splashed about my heels. After a few more minutes of crashing through the undergrowth, my legs began to tire and I collapsed beneath the shade of the boughs of an enormous tree. I shook and took three shuddering breaths then ran a hand through my hair, wincing as it caught in the knots made by the brambles. I once again fought to catch the thoughts scrambling around in my head. Who were those people? My first thought was that they were First Order. We still had issues with those who had refused the call at the Second Battle Of Geonosis. But there was nothing we had seen when we had flown over weeks earlier and we hadn't heard anyone drop off since then. So it must be... "Finn!" I yelled, "where are you?" I looked around, expecting to see his form, albeit confined to a wheelchair, crashing through the thicket. But no such vision came. "Sehknal? Anyone?" I cursed aloud and called out into thin air. Coming to my senses, I reached out into the Force as I had done so many times and found nothing. Not even a whisper returned the answers to my questions, not even a hum of acknowledgement. I once again grew scared.  Almost as if something was coming for me. And I had nothing to defend myself with.

As I watched from my point of relative safety I looked around, my lightsaber seeming to be my only source of light. It was immensely cold but I knew Finn was out here somewhere. I wished he would go back to the warmth and the safety of the base. He and the other's wouldn't survive long out here. Before long though, clouds began to form and the little heat that was left in the atmosphere was trapped in. I relished in the apparent heat and soon dropped off, remembering the cold desert nights of Jakku.

Everything around me was completely black. Not a spot of colour adorned the walls I could barely make out. It was like walking through a hole to nowhere. I was falling blindly through a maze of seemingly random tunnels, never quite managing to hit the side. I would skim against it, once in a while, but never enough to quite graze myself. It was almost like I had this barrier surrounding me, protecting me. It would have been therapeutic if it wasn't so damn terrifying. I was screaming but all too soon I came to an abrupt stop. I heard the thud and then the air rushed from my lungs. I wouldn't feel the impact until much later when bruises spread over my back. I stood and stared into onyx shadow. The inky blackness only stared blankly back and I drew another breath before placing a tender step forward. As I grew in confidence, I slowly crept across cold stones and they stung to the touch of my bare feet. "Hello?" I called out into the darkness. "Anyone?" "Why don't you just come out and I can have a normal discussion? There's no need to hide. It's not like I'm armed." I took another step forward and a jumped as a deep, resonant chuckle echoed around me. "Why do you join me here, under such strange circumstances?" I looked around, only just beginning to wonder how I had got there or why indeed I had been put there. "Who are you? What do you want with me? Where am I?" I gasped, looking around for the source of this foreboding voice. He gave another light laugh. "My dear, you are in the realm of the Son now."