Understanding Me

Understanding Me(2)

Chapter 2

I didn't look like myself. My eyes were blood shot, and my face had become red. I couldn't face Payson like this, at least not yet. This would crush all her hopes, and these days hope was all we clung to. My reflection showed me for who I truly was. The 'me' I didn't show everyone else. I wasn't as brave as I tried to seem. I looked up at my puffy blue eyes now ringed with red. They were my sisters eyes staring back at me thought the mirror. My wavy brownish-red hair cascaded down my back to my waist. I should have gotten it cut a long time ago, but my hair was the only thing that I hadn't changed since the accident last spring. It seems stupid, but for some reason it meant something to me, I had a slender build and was a little on the short side, there really wasn't much else to me.

"I know your in here Lena."  Payson uttered quietly while she walked into the restroom. She was better at not letting her emotions betray her voice.

"Sorry kiddo, we're not gonna give up though." I replied back even more doubtful than before. I had to do something to get us out of here. Not just for her, but for me too.  I'm usually one to act on impulses, and in that instant, thats exactly what I did.

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Nearly six hours, three pit stops, and one stolen clunker later, we were crossing the Illinois state line into Iowa. The sign read "Welcome To Iowa" in big obnoxious lettering that at that moment was the most welcoming thing in the world. But it really should have read "Welcome To Iowa, the least likely place to vacation in the universe" if we were going to stay out of trouble, we needed to keep a low profile; it was perfect. I estimated that we had about 24 hours before Social Service would send out the word of our disappearance, and would probably know about our whereabouts in 48 if we stayed too long somewhere or got sloppy. We need to find someplace far away to stay for awhile. I had come this far and I was not turning around now. I really didn't know what I was going to do, my mind was never one to actually formulate a plan before hand, so I was S.O.L for the moment.

 "Lena?" I barely heard over the unhealthy choking of the engine, hey I wasn't going to steal a nice car, I felt bad as it was about this one. But somehow I felt like I was doing someone somewhere a favor by taking this piece of crap off their hands.

"hmmm?" I mumbled still half lost in thought.

"I need to...uhmmm....well, we haven't stopped in awhile so...."

"'Ohhh!" My apparent neglect for Payson's needs was troubling especially now that I was her guardian whether she liked it or not, but I did have a lot on my mind as of late. "Sorry but your gonna have to do it boy scout style, We're no where near a rest stop."

"Whatever I don't care I just need to go!" She cried with no reluctance in her voice about being deprived of proper restroom luxury's. I urgently pulled the car to a quick stop on the side of the dusty country road, narrowly missing a ditch by about three feet. What more could you expect from someone who had never actually gotten her drivers license. I mean I had been taught by my dad, but we never got around to actually getting my license for obvious reasons. My Illinois learners permit was as good as any though. I searched the scenery for a good spot for Payson to relieve herself. I saw a gathering of trees about a quarter of a mile into the prairie like landscape and a mediocre sized hills in the gathering. Strange, a hill in this flat landscape; whatever.

"Just go on the other side of that hill." I roared over the engine, before pulling the keys from the ignition and finally realizing how quiet it really was.