The Faculty Orders Domino's [A Carmen Sandiego Fanfic!]

The Faculty Orders Domino's

It was a gloomy night at Vile Island. So gloomy and humid. The humid gloom illumed the blue room as the goons loomed.

Coach Brunt had been stomping ceaselessly around the main table-desk-whateveryouwannacallit, getting more and more angry with each stomp.

"IT'S BEEN 2 HOURS!" roared Coach Brunt, grabbing and ripping a metal support pole out of the wall.

"Hush, Coach Brunt." Professor Maelstrom was leaning back in his chair with a towel on his neck, his face slathered with green and his eyes covered by a pair of cucumber slices. Having just applied a $500 anti-aging Moroccan Ghassoul face mask, he was incredibly meditative and calm.

"Hush, Professor Maelstrom," said Countess Cleo, who leaned beside him with a purple $800 anti-aging Mayan clay face mask, zucchini eyes, and embroidered towel, and was even calmer and more meditative than he was.

Professor Maelstrom shifted angrily in his seat.

"I'M HUNGRY, CONSARN IT!" Coach Brunt cracked open the metal pole with her thigh.

"The sushi is on the way," the green anti-aging mask snapped under his breath. "Right, Dr. Bellum?"

She quickly closed a Buzzfeed quiz. "Huh? What?"

"The sushi, Dr. Bellum. Has Grubhub sent you a text estimating its arrival?"

Dr. Bellum looked confused. Then scared. Then furious. She closed her screen and began spitting, "Clearly, you all did not remind me not - I - you didn't give me the CVV for the company credit card, I hadn't - "

"DR. BELLUM!" roared the face mask.

"Oh my God," sighed Countess Cleo.

"AAAARRRGGGHHHH!" Coach Brunt's fist left a visible dent on the steel wall.

----

It was 12:32 AM, and Zack and Ivy were biking downhill in Las Palmas de Gran Canaria, passing palm trees and Spanish restaurants. They were in Las Palmas, part of the small Canary Islands off the shore of Northwest Africa. Carmen Sandiego was STILL checking the Castillo de la Luz to make sure V.I.L.E. hadn't stolen anything, leaving the siblings bored and hungry and wishing V.I.L.E. stole something so Carmen could let them go back to the airport and get in their private jet already.

"No WiFi!" cried Zack, slowly pedaling his Rent-a-Bike. "NOW how are we gonna find garlic bread at an affordable price?"

"They don't have garlic bread here, you weeb! We're on the Canary Islands off the shore of Northwest Africa. Their tapas are in Español, not Italiano."

The Rent-a-Bike screeched to a halt. "Did you just call me a weeb?!"

Ivy laughed cruelly, and stopped the bike to pull out her phone. "Yeah, LOL! I just found all the Naruto fan art on your old DeviantArt! NOW who's the one with the cringy OCs?!"

"I THOUGHT THERE WAS NO WIFI HERE!" screeched the forlorn Bostonian weeaboo.

As her brother burst into humiliated tears, Ivy turned around and said, "Well whaddaya know. Garlic bread at an affordable price!"

----

"REFRESH! REFRESH!" screamed Coach Brunt, hitting the button on Dr. Bellum's computer as fast as her finger would allow. Unfortunately, both Grubhub and Seamless showed zero results in her area.

Countess Cleo looked appalled as she examined multiple takeout menus from the restaurants in Puertillo, Maspalomas, and Costa Ayala. "Clearly, something must be open within 10 square miles of our location!" she fussed, seeing their 10 PM closing times.