Hetalia Headcannons

Soldier!Ptsd!2p!Russia x reader

"My nightmares have been persisting even years after the war, I could never get the screams of my fellow soldiers out of my head. Being rich and having friends inside the government didn't save me from being drafted, like I thought it would. I went on a rage the day they denied my bribes, it didn't do me any favors, as they placed me in the front lines. I thought I knew real pain before the war, but I quickly learned otherwise as the war continued. I know I was one of the lucky ones, escaping the fields with minimal scarring, but some of my comrades weren't so lucky. Our enemies ripped through them, capturing many of us for their torture games.
I witnessed the acts first hand, they forced many of us to watch as they slaughtered our friends and brothers by placing bullets in their brains. Many prisoners were sent off to the death camps, where their was slim chances of surviving. The enemy would taunt us as if they were cats toying with mice. It broke the morale of many of unit, causing them to use the suicide pills, smiling as the light drained from their eyes. Their bodies would be placed with those of the enemies of the state, in the mass graves, unmarked, and nonexistant to the world soon afterwards.
The enemy persued us into the dead of winter, many of them were underdressed and died of hypothermia. They believed that they'd have us out of the way by the end of the summer. We were able to retaliate just long enough to turn them into frozen statues.
Coming home, I had witnessed the damages that our leader had left behind. Many of the civillians had subcomed to their hunger and dropped dead, while others resorted to cannibalism to survive. Stalin had everyone hyper focused on industrialization instead of agruculture, leading many to starve. I was happy to return home to my wife, who realized something had changed in me the day I returned home.

Since then she has done nothing but comfort me when I woke in a cold sweat, gasping for air. She's become the only real medicine to fight against the nightmares and flashbacks I've had. When I was younger I had complained to my father numerous times about how clingy Y/N was, and ironically now I've become the clingy one. I'm near her at all hours of the day, following her around like a lovesick puppy; the war had made me extremely paraniod about losing her. Surprisingly, she didn't mind, let me follow her around the house all the time, cuddle up to her; she had returned all the affections I gave her.

There have been times where I had posed a major threat to my precious Y/N. During an episode I had drawn my weapon on her, and even now I know that with one false move I could've killed her. She had talked me down, and the next thing I remembered was breaking down, apologizing repeatedly as she held me.
She had told him, "Viktor, it's ok, you're home. You're safe. I'm not going anywhere. The war is over."
I will never understand how she finds the strength to keep lifting me back up, but I'm greatful."

Y/N had entered his study as soon as he finished this entry in his journal. She placed a kiss to his cheek and moved to sit in his lap. Viktor hugged her, being once again filled with the warmth that he became addicted to.

"It's rare for me to not feel you at my hip everytime I move," Y/N paused before asking a question she already knew the answer to. "You had another nightmare, didn't you?"

"I did. I snuck out of the bedroom somewhere around 3 am. I had a few things I wanted to get off my mind."

"Viktor, you could've woke me up!"

"You looked so peaceful sleeping, and didn't want to wake you for the fifth time this week. If you were to develop insomnia I wouldn't forgive myself."

"Vanya, you worry too much. I want you to wake me up, you know exactly what happened last time you got up without me."

He winced just thinking about it. He resorted to using alcohol to calm him, and ended going through the entire liquor cabinet. When Y/N found him, he was on the floor of his study, sobbing. It was a real blow to his pride.

"I know." He couldn't argue with her, he knew she was right this time.

"Let's just go back to bed. I'm still tired, and it's freezing without you."

Viktor carried her back to bed, tucking her in before climbing in himself. He wrapped himself around her body and burried his head into her neck.

"I love you Y/N." He began nuzzling her as he usually did.

"I love you too Viktor."

He stayed up a few hours just watching her sleep before falling asleep himself. His cat snuck in shortly afterwards, curling up at the edge of the bed.