Cooking catastrophe!

I invited my date for dinner

I was looking to impress

Into the kitchen

Trying not to make a mess

Cooking is not my forte

I’m certainly no Nigella

But tonight would be different

No rolling pin, I’ll use my umbrella

Pots bubbling away

Into the cooker I put the meat

The fire alarm starts ringing

I nearly pass out from the heat

Trying to stay calm

What’s this giant spoon for?

It’s all going wrong

The eggs have fallen on the floor

I’ve forgotten to add the flour

I’m sure it will still taste fine

The stress of chopping and stirring

I need a glass of wine

What’s that burning smell?

Meat stuck to the baking tray

I’m a disaster in the kitchen

Let’s get a take away!