Tales From Gundarland

Tales From Gundarland: an award winning collection of humorous fantasy stories

 

Laughter is like free health insurance: you can't get too much of it.  This book will give you enough laughs to boost your health.

It's filled with delightful entertainment.  Without commercial interruption! 

Gundarland is populated by humans, dwarfs, elves and other races; it's the backdrop for unique adventures, brilliant heroes and cunning villains.

There are six short stories and two novellas in here.  All are new. You'll meet some of Shakespeare's most famous characters, a warrior-cook, vigilantes, a trio of beautiful, lusty princesses to mention just a few of the memorable characters in the stories.  

Reader's Favorite awarded this book a medal in September and it is a finalist in the latest EPIC competition.

Reviewers have called it: 'Hilarious" and "Side-splittingly funny" and "A comical roller coaster" and finally, "could become a cult phenomenon."  I can live being a phenomenon.

 

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GUNDARLAND: AN INTRODUCTION

The planet was named Gundar after the omniscient god who accidentally created the universe with an explosive sneeze caused by snorting a larger-than-average dose of His favorite recreational powder. The nodules of spittle flew through space and eventually solidified into suns, planets, comets and other celestial bodies.

Scientific authorities called this event the Big Achoo. Medical authorities argued that infectious diseases were the result of this unsanitary beginning. Religious authorities countered that such talk was blasphemous and that the medical authorities should accept infectious diseases as Gundar's holy will. Ordinary folk thought the authorities had too much free time on their hands and ought to get jobs.

Gundarland is the largest land mass on the planet. Populated by diverse races such as dwarfs, humans, elves, half-pints, yuks and a few lesser races, these disparate races live cheek-by-jowl in many cases and get along with no more than the usual interracial hostility.

At one time, the yuks roamed all over the island subjecting everyone to their boorish behavior and crude manners. The other races mostly put up with them, but it was a brave hostess who invited a yuk to a dinner party. They ate with their fingers because they always pilfered the cutlery as soon as they sat down at the table. Eventually, the yuks were driven into the southwest corner of the island, a land of marshes and mountain deemed worthless by land developers.

Religion has always played a big part in many people's lives. The biggest festival occurred in the spring when Snotism celebrated the birth of the universe. Know as the Sacred Snot-Fest, the ritual culminated in everyone simultaneously inhaling crushed pepper to generate a giant sneeze. Doctors loved the festival; many of them made more money in the month following the Snot-Fest than they did for the rest of the year. Oddly enough, the priests all wore masks during the ceremony.

By ancient tradition, many warriors took a double major when they studied the arts of war. The double major came in handy during the occasional outbreaks of peace. Thus, in the early days, knight-accountants, warrior-chefs and soldier-lawyers roamed the countryside seeking combat and/or clients.

The population has always been intrigued by magic. As a consequence, wizards were held in high regard, even the incompetent ones. Wizard schools offered double majors as well as the combat schools. At first, the secondary courses were perfunctory, but then the dukes began installing wizards in positions of power on the theory that if a wizard couldn't figure out a solution to a problem, they could always magic the problem out of existence. The practice of appointing wizards continued long after that theory proved to be catastrophically wrong. The wizard schools once again took notice and kept increasing the importance of the secondary courses until wizardry became the lesser of the two curricula. Soon, graduates could barely compose spells and frequently didn't have enough magical power to blow their noses.