Ring of Fire

Chapter 36

Just when Randi Bisno thought she had seen it all, Wally Gibbs proved her wrong.

Once she heard he was on the move, she drove directly to his house; she knew his only sanctuary was situated atop his roof, powered by a 220V outlet. To avoid being spotted by his wife, she had parked just shy of his driveway, which curved around as it approached the house. Surrounded by little bearded men in a small garden, his wife barely looked up as Wally breezed by and disappeared in the house.

The other cars arrived only moments before Wally took his fatal plunge. There was a campus police car, which Randi guessed to be Nick Pappas, plus a Pinehaven police car carrying two officers and Dean Cap Hodges. As they conferred in the driveway, Wally came down to meet them--in the gruesomest of ways.

Randi avoided getting any closer, but even from her car, through the spindly pines, she thought the whole scene looked remarkably like an avant-garde funeral procession. Wally was perched atop (or in some cases, impaled upon) the statues, with his head to the side and both cheeks skewered by the blue hat of the macabre parade's leader. The other statues, for their part, seemed oblivious to the tragedy, smiling their cast-iron smiles and staring cherubically ahead.

One doesn't usually see such cheerful pallbearers, Randi thought.

The dwarves weren't the only ones indifferent to Wally's demise. Just after Wally hit, his wife let out a small squeal from the rooftop, then disappeared from view. She emerged from the front door with a bottle of champagne, poured herself a flute and balanced the bottle on her late husband's back.

Randi toasted her silently: I'll drink to that.

Three days later, the Monday after Project Argus flamed out and took Wally with it, Randi was sitting in Cap Hodges' office. She had wanted to bolt for Chicago immediately, but the dean asked her to stick around. To keep her promise to Nick Pappas, she cooperated with the campus and local police in every way, even turning over her laptop with all its Project Argus files and data.

"I hear she's having him cremated," Cap Hodges said, in an effort to make small talk.

"I heard the same. She said it would be like the ultimate suntan."

"And that way she won't be bound to any particular cemetery. With travel-size Wally, she's free to live anywhere she pleases."

"Maybe she could put him in one of his dreadful old suitcases." Randi offered. She liked the dean. As an infrequent visitor to the campus, she hadn't had much contact with him, but their disdain for Wally was an instant bond.

"That, or something else." The dean smiled slyly.

"Like what? What do you know?"

"She's putting him in a dwarf. Grumpy, from what I hear." Cap explained that Janys was having one of her precious lawn figurines fitted with a hinged neck, so his head could be tipped back and Wally's ashes stowed inside.

"No shit," Randi said, dropping the decorum.

"She was very breezy about it all," Cap replied, leaning back. "But by the time I talked to her, most of the champagne was gone."

"Poor woman. I hope she can move on."

"I don't think that'll be a problem. She already told me she can be out of the house as soon as we find a new professor."

"New professor?" While Randi had already spent many happy moments basking in her life without Wally Gibbs, she had yet to consider what the void would do to the university.

"Naturally. The position doesn't go away, even if Professor Gibbs did. His assistant can finish out the semester, but we'll need someone for the fall." He opened a manila folder on his desk. "I hear you're on the market."