The sand dug between my toes. What the heck? I squint into the sunset, the sea hitting each other to and fro. The silhoutte of a woman.. no wait.. a man walking on water. Maybe this is a symptom of those menstrual cycle pills i took. If it is, I love being high.
The shadow of the strange man swaggering towards me on water came clsoer and closer. I breathe in. So much sweg.
I recognise him. It's jesus. I feEL SO CoNECTED.
"Jesus christ..." I muttered unintensionally.
"Yes, that's my name. Don't wear it out bae." He winked at me
I stuttered and mumbled unrecognisable words. I scanned his face, including his ray bans. My eyes wavered to the gold chain hanging stylishly on his neck, and the AK74 hanging across his chest. I breathe heavily.
"Can I please get a selfie, Jesus?" I finally asked the man.
"Sorry bae, no."
I sighed defeatedly.
"Jennifer, can I ask you a question though?"
woAHH SENPAI KNOWS MY NAme. I nodded aggresively.
"Do you perhaps know if the fish and chips store is closed?"
"Oh, it closed 10 minutes ago," I replied with a thirsty tone.
"Oh." He simply said, and stared into the distant with a mournful expression on his baby-butt face.
"Jennifer, get your hands off my face." Senpai said, still looking into the never ending sand path. I drew my hand away and apologised, embarassed.
He looked suicidal. I thought of some things to say to him. "I'm going to write about you on my blog- I mean, maybe it wasnt the right hour for setting out, maybe it was a road that never belonged to another that never really was yours-"
"Shut up, Jennifer. Don't bring up your boring emo quotes"
"Soz."
Jesus slapped me and morphed into a raccoon. The creature took a piss on my shoes and flew off, dropping shit on my head.
"Goodbye Jesus." I say to myself. I am sO DISCONNEctEd.
