chanhun - what a fucking shitty ass life
rated r for retarded
"fuck my life" i said to myself. fucking annoying ass chanyeol just decided for his fucking self that he's sleeping over at my apartment after we finished recording for our new album. "i'm too tired to go all the way back home"
"wtf chanyeol you live in the same block of apartments as me" "yeah but i'm on the 7th floor" "shut up bruv"
chanyeol is driving his shabby ugly ass G-wagon. fucking hunk of junk like it's owner. i give him a dirty look for the whole ride but he doesn't seem to notice. anyway he looks really fucking sexy stretched out across his seat with his muscles and his veins and his long ass self and fuck i hate him so much.
we reach my apartment. it's as sexy as i left it. he invites himself to open the fridge??????????????? and drinks my beer. i wasn't going to even drink it but now that he drank from it i want it. "don't fucking take my beer you fucking assclown." i take the bottle from him and shove it in my lips.
i hear chanyeol mutter "ᶦⁿᵈᶦʳᵉᶜᵗ ᵏᶦˢˢ" fucking cunt i'll beat his ass. "what did you say, Mr Cardiovascular System?" "nothing bitch i can take ur beer if i want to. "
my ass, he can take my beer. "you can't just do what you want this is my house big man" "i can do what i want" "do what you want my ass" "i can do ur ass too"
a moment of silence
another moment
one more
another one
i fucking lunged at him ready to fuck him up. "how fucking dare you say that to me in my house" i throw uppercuts and lowercuts and overall mediumcuts and soon enough his face is starting to show signs of getting beats.
he rolls me over and climbs on top of me. he punches my nose and i'm pretty that's blood coming out oh shit oh fuck. "it's. not. a. house. it's. an. apartment." he says between punches.
"fuck you" "anytime" i punch his chest and he keels over, his asthma getting the better of him. how about i throw fucking pollen on him so his eczema plays up too. i kick the side of his stomach and just as i'm about to throw a landing punch he screams wait. he looks up at me, desperation in his eyes, blood pouring out the side of his mouth and bruises forming on his eye. i almost feel sympathy. he looks cute and sexy at the same time. the fuck.
"what"
"it's not even an apartment. it's more of a studio."
i knock him out.
MORNING
baekhyun started pressing lightly on my veins, kinda like a feather. un village, he said lightly. he continued pressing on the veins on the inside of my forearms, maybe a little harder now. un village, he said, a bit louder. he rubbed on my veins. un village, again. he pressed tightly this time. un village, he said strongly. tighter. un village. tighter. un village. "baekhyun" he looks up at me. his eyes slowly start to melt and fall down his face. he presses the hardest on my veins, until they pop. as i slowly bleed out, on my death bed, he looks me right in the eyes and screams out UN VILLAGE.
i wake up screaming and sweating. that was a terrifying ass dream. wait what dream. ah shit i forgot. i check my phone while pissing. i sighed when i remembered i have to film the music video for What A Life today.
i decided to call chanyeol to see if we could carpool to the venue. oddly enough, i heard a phone ring in my living room. terrifying thoughts of finding baekhyun in there saying un village played in my head. strange, they seemed quite familiar. after shitting, i wiped my ass but didn't wash it with water cause i'm a dirty fuck. i decided not to brush my teeth but just wiped them with a baby wipe. my hair was a bit greasy so i put powder in it instead of showering. i'm pretty sure my makeup artist is gonna beat the shit out of me but idc.
