I've always wanted to be a super model. Twas my only dream.
"I see you got new slippers, Bianca" Florence said.
I felt vivacious because of his beautiful buns just sitting there all perky. It made me feel so condident. His visage beamed like a thousand suns burning through a field of corn.
"Yes, I acquired new slippers Florence" I replied
"But they are not the ones I gave you"
I felt ashamed because they were in fact the ones I bought for myself at Dollarama because I hated the ones that he got me.
"But it Doesn't even matter anymore because I've been sent to war."
"That's shameful" I replied. Oh, but it was wonderful because now my stupid butt monger husband was leaving, and Glen would be mine. ALL MINE. FOREVER !!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"I'll see you after I get back. I love you" I smiled.
"I'll miss you so much" I said as I kissed him. He smiled at me sadly, picked up his bags, and walked right out.
Now to find Glen. If only Florence knew what was going on. As soon as Florence walked out the door, I called Glen.
"Hey baby cakez!"
"YO DAAAAAAWG. WUZZZ UP HOME SLICE?!" He greeted. His voice oozing with love. Every single word was laced with admiration and passion. I loved how every word sounded like poetry.
"Not much. The BUTT MONGER just left."
"The BUTT MONGER left? YUSS YUSS YUSS. I'll be right there hunny buns." I could hear his wink from across the phone. I could just tell how beautiful his visage looked. The line went dead. I couldn't wait to see him. He tasted so good. His pie, named Glen. I hoped he brought it with him so we could eat it out of his belly button lint
Soon, the doorbell rang. There stood Glen, his smurf booty blue eyes staring into mine, and his hair as blonde as the sand that gets stuck in your buttcrack. His pearly whites were smiling at me. His lips looked so soft and like the shade of Airy Fairy lipstick. I think he wore it. He starred in a movie called I Cheated On The One Who Gave Me The Horrific Slippers. It was filmed in the land of asses and lost arteries (Los Angleles).
"Glen, you came!"
"Oh, Bianca! How I missed you! I've been waiting for your call." He spoke in his think southern accent.
"Oh, did you bring Toto?"
"No, but I brought you my specialty." He then pulled out his butt and gave it to me. The two albino buns stared back at my face. Good. I had new pilliows. The are so nice. I looked to where his butt should be. Nothing. How did he put his butt in his pockets?
"Oh thank you, it yo thirsty ass. It'll go perfectly with my sheets." He smiled at me,
"I'm so glad you like it." He told me.
"I have a surprise too." I began. "I haven't showered in three years. Want to join me?"
"Y'ALL CHILLUN BE DOING CRAYY CRAYY SHIAT." My grandpappy yelled from across the country.
"I do want to join you." Glen winked at me.
"THEN JOIN THE BABY SHOWER."
"HOOOOWEEEEEE Bianca!" Glen shouted out. I let him inside my humble mansion.
-
"Glen... I'm pregnant. I'm crazy, wild, and pregnant with yo child." I said to him as he was braiding his oh, so beautiful rat-tail that he had previously covered in pudding for me to lick.
I was about to have a beautiful baby. NOBODY COULD STOP ME FROM BEING THE MADRE OF GLENS LITTLE TEENY TATER TOTS.
