Three More Months

85 Days (Part 1)

"Miss Winters, I hadn't expected to see you until Friday. Has there been a complication?" Asks the elderly doctor, while he readjusts his glasses. His wrinkled fingers quiver just a tiny bit as I observe him. Under my unceasing stare Dr. Barker smiles and continues to return my gaze. Nothing that I do fazes him. Or for that matter even causes him to blink.

"No, no complication," I grunt under my breath. Wishing almost that their had been so I wouldn't be wasting the poor man's time.

"Not that I want to be rude Miss Winters but why have you decided to grace me with your presence then?" The whole time his face is serene and kind, not for a second holding any anger, petulance, or ready to scold.

"My mother made me come,"I grumble. Thanking God there was someone I could finally blame.

"And why is that, Lydia?" He inquires kindly. I look up into his eyes and all I see is someone who wants to help me. I shift up a little in my seat and fix my posture. Then I rub my hands over my pants to heat them up. Finally after I can't find any reason not to speak I say,"Because I'm not coping properly, I'm not handling the news well, I'm being selfish, Is that enough reason for you?"

"More than enough Lydia thank you," He takes a breath and drinks his coffee we sit in a compatible silence for less than a minute but in that time I realize what a mistake I've made coming today. I scoot myself up off of the seat and stand up. Slowly I walk to the door silently begging him to tell me to come back and sit down.

"Lydia, come back and sit down!" He orders, I let out a relieved sigh and inch my way back to the seat. The vinyl seats shriek in protest as I slide back down.

"Thank you, now back to business. Your mother called before hand to inform me of what was going on. Having this information handy I made a few calls," He reaches into his desk and pulls out a large stack of papers. Each one purposely placed, and slightly yellowed with age. Dr. Barker leans across the desk and plops the large pile right into my lap, it causes the chair to sink inward it's so heavy. The pile of papers makes my legs feel itchy and sweaty. I gulp before flipping the first one over and reading it."Rehabilitation Center for suicidal teens? Is this some kind of cruel joke? You want me to spend time with kids who have willing attempted to take their own lives while mine is quickly slipping away?!" I demand lethargically. It's almost like the universe is playing a mind game with me. "How long can we mess with Lydia before she loses her marbles," it taunts zealously. I stare at him dumbfounded, waiting for him to tell me that this is one big joke. When he doesn't I just look at him my mouth agape.

"Lydia I believe you're taking this the wrong way this is meant to be taken as a joke or punishment. This is meant to work two ways. One you will give them a harsh dose of reality, and two they will show you how lucky you are,"

"How could anyone consider me lucky?" I ask him, willing Dr. Barker to give me a real answer. He clears his throat and cracks his knuckles, causing me to cringe. I blink my eyes and focus.

"Lydia from the looks of it you've lived your whole life hidden from the outside world. You've been kept safe, and loved. Never once have you been bullied or harassed. Honestly Lydia, you've lived in almost a utopia for your whole life," The hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I flinch a little when the doctor flicks his eyes towards me.

"I believe our time is up Lydia, you may go now," Dr. Barker dismisses me. Shifting his hand in the direction of the door. Slowly I gather up my belongings and head over to the door. Praying, wishing, and trying to cast a magic spell that could prevent me from what I had to do next. I speed walk out to the parking lot and stop when I reach my car. I have no control over myself, my fists beat themselves against the car. Pain shoots up my wrist, so I hold it to my chest like a wounded animal. Mustering up what little rationality I have left, I call my mom.

"Yeah honey?" She answers on the second ring, before I can convince myself to hang up.

"You called Doctor Barker?" I ask menacingly.

"I just wanted him to have everything ready," My mother tells me.

"I'm almost an adult!" I growl,"I can take care of myself,"

"Not for three more months," My mom reminds me wanly. I snort.

"Can I invite Ethan to come?" I inquire.

"On one condition," she pauses for effect,"You have to tell him," I groan.

"I just won't go then," I inform her.

"Did I forget to mention,"She draws out slowly,"I called ahead there to, they're expecting you," I swear under my breath.

"I love you Lydia," My mom chirps.

"I love you to!" I respond before angrily slamming my phone shut. I stare at it, afraid that it's going to turn into a venomous snake and eat me alive. My stomach churns and flops, butterflies flutter up and down. Eventually after what seems like forever I flip my phone back open and very slowly punch in the numbers. My hand shakes and my palms sweat as I press dial. I bring the phone up to my ear and wait. It grows hot and sweaty my hair sticks to my forehead and the phone rings loudly in my ear. The ringing stops and a voice picks up on the other side.

"Hello?"

** A/N Thats it for now guys, ill do it in two parts and hopefully post soon. On another note; I've been trying to not do any authors note but just this once I will. First of all, I love you guys every single one of you. Second, I just started high school so I'll only be able to update on the weekends because I'm taking three prime class four core classes. I'm crazy I know. I think that's all I have to say. Sorry for the delay!