The A* marriage

Arranged. Marriage. The Marriage of the Unknown.

We walk in to the abyss. The shadow is at the back. The light is at the end of the tunnel. You keep walking, towards the light. The light goes towards that mystery of who your life partner. Who will attend as your other half at the wedding that will complete your arranged marriage. But you're no different, as this arranged marriage shows that the parents find a girl or boy; but you decide what they should look like or what job, education or hobbies they'd be interested in. As you mention after all, I am spending my love life with him forever.

This is like an arranged marriage only a modern version of it. Not the one where you're like. "Hey, next week I want you to be at home", attitude like not allowed to go out. Get changed someone is coming to look at you. The parents of the boy come round, think "hmm, perfect girl, we accept". It seems like some weird sort of drug deal, but it's not, it's the simple arranged and fucked up marriage. That has human right issues nowadays. She's never seen what the boy look likes neither has the boy seen what's her physique or complexion like; the parents just have a negotiation like it's a premier league transfer. "Hmm, yes we like your daughter, we would like them to get married next week; no presents required just your prayers. That's all." The Girls family: they'll still pay outright, give some sort of present to keep their honour and pride. Make themselves stand out amongst their daughters, in law family. So basically her husband, her father-in-law, brother-in-law, sister in law and mother in law.

"Here's your tofah" - that's present in Gujarati. Typical present the grooms family would give is 5k and a motorcycle; back in the homeland of India or Bangladesh. The Brides Family would give something back just to not look small in front of the guests. Probably a new set of furniture, a wardrobe, a bed and bedside drawer plus half of the costs for the wedding venue.

Typical arranged motherland marriages:

Where did they take place? Wedding venues weren't a big issue what happens is that they do the weddings in the front/back gardens. It happens nowadays as well to save money. They spend what 10,000. Now that's a lot in GBP or USD but not in Indian Rupees or Bangladeshi Taka's. 10,000 of that is approx £110. Don't know the USD conversions in dollars to rupees. So won't bother much.

How much overall? Depends how fancy it is. If you're a celebrity of the 1960's probably 60,000 rupees which is just over £625.00 whilst if you were a villager getting your son or daughter married the maximum would be 15,000. The lowest class probably, a short gathering, an exchange of rings, take vows and a wedding feast all for 5,000 rupees.

However, nowadays we see people spend as much as 1million in dollars as rupees aren't much for an A lister Bollywood celebrity. As for everyone else, minimum starts at around 100,000 rupees which is equivalent to just over 1K in USD or GBP. However, not everyone has that sort of money some still are in poverty which have that small gathering and spend only 10,000 max.

Why? Arranged marriage. It's easier, less hassle and less time wasted. Back in those days that is. They were like we spend our lives feeding you to grow up so we believe we have a right to choose who your life partner should be as well.

Or sometimes it's not the goldigger option it's the parents being the goldigger. Hey, he's my business rival, I'll get his son to marry my daughter; we'll converge both businesses, no rivals and the business would be more profitable. If it doesn't work out we will just drain it out of our son in law. (Nah, only happens in the movies. However, I have been told there are rumours that it's happened before).

Let's get back to topic.

I've told what an arranged marriage is, why and where they usually took place. Who attends, however when and how.

Well, the wedding usually occurs within the same week if they believe their daughter or son has gone astray or if they can't wait is within that month. However if it's religious then within an auspicious period to maintain good deeds in their married life.

How? That's easy.

Speak about the dates of the marriage when they believe yep this is the right girl. Then they go home. Both parties decide their themes and get everything sorted. Buy clothes and rings.

Wedding day, exchange vows, give the rings and kiss. Nuh uhh. Ain't gonna happen. There may as well be a heart attack. You don't see the groom and bride kiss as it looks shameful and disgusting. Which is weird.

This is how it works. We have a mehendi or henna ceremony, a haldi or turmeric ceremony, a sangeet or dance ceremony, a stag do or bachelors party (if you can sneak out stealthily), the wedding, the suhag raat - wedding night (a bit of intimacy plus get to know one another before going to sleep thing) and then in Islam a Walima - which is a event after the wedding to celebrate the marriage.

Basically. The bride celebrates at a venue close to her home however, leaves with her husband to go over to the in laws residence. Leaving her family behind. Watch the song dulhe ka sehra on YouTube. Her family then come to visit her as like an after event from the wedding which in Islam means the Walima.

They (brides family) then take the groom back to the brides residence so he can visit his in laws and their extensive family in detail. He stays for a day or two then she packs her bags and takes them with her to his home. As obviously she can't take her luggage with her on her wedding day. It would look very awkward.

She can visit them often. However there's the arranged marriage how, when, what, why and where it happens. Who they get married to is quite self explanatory to be fair.

I will publish short stories like this. As I know what's going to happen. As I countdown to mine which is less than 2 weeks away. Only for me, I've spent just over £45,000 for the wedding. Imagine. Some say they spend £1000 and get it over and done with in 4 hours. However, traditionally we spend a good two weeks so we can enjoy, keep an ever long lasting memory of what we did and never rush. That's tradition, no rush, take it slow.