Reinventing Yourself by Steve Chandler - Chapter 41 - Are They Just Grinning Idiots? - The culture we live in does not have a very high opinion of optimism. We think of optimism as not being very realistic. When we think of optimists we think of happy idiots and grinning fools. We think of the clueless blonde acting all ditzy and happy. We think of Barbie. We think of a Pollyanna refusing to see reality. We think of Mr. Rogers or Richard Simmons. We think of someone running his family into debt by always pretending that good times are just around the corner. In the Broadway musical South Pacific, one of the most popular songs was about a "cockeyed optimist" who was "immature and incurably green...stuck like a dope on a thing called hope." But we are wrong to think this, because optimism is not weak, it is powerful. There's proof. Twenty years of breakthrough studies by Dr. Martin Seligman show that optimism is realistic and powerful. In fact, the optimist is far more tough-minded than the pessimist, because the optimist always chooses his or her thinking after reviewing many possibilities, whereas the pessimist hardly thinks at all. In fact, the pessimist is most characterized by quitting at the beginning of the thinking process and caving in to a fatiguing sense of defeat. In The Optimist Child, Seligman reveals the results of his scientifically validated studies on more than half a million subjects: "Pessimistic people do worse than optimistic people in three ways: First, they get depressed much more often. Second, they achieve less at school, on the job, and on the playing field-much less than their talents would suggest. Third, their physical health is worse than that of optimists. So holding a pessimistic theory of the world may be the mark of sophistication, but it is a costly one." Dr. Seligman's studies were a dramatic rejection of the old idea that we have permanent personalities caused by genetics and environment. Dr. Jonas Salk, the inventor of the polio vaccine, told Seligman he wished he had his life to live over. "If I were a young scientist today," said Dr. Salk, "I would still do immunization. But instead of immunizing kids physically, I'd do it your way. I'd immunize them psychologically." Stop asking how it makes you feel Psychotherapist Alan Loy McGinnis also traces the source of optimism to our thoughts, not our personalities. We have absolute control over our thoughts, even though that control often feels difficult. Victims are so close to their thoughts and feelings that they have no sense of control whatsoever. Victims, internally, feel out of control. By feeling out of control, it feels like outside circumstances are causing our negative feelings, just as it felt like the earth was flat for so many years. The owner's real leverage in life is in whether she or he exercises optimistic or pessimistic thinking responses. Archimedes said, "Give me a lever long enough and I will move the world," and he was literally correct, that if you had given him a long enough lever he could have, by a movement of his hand, tilted the entire planet earth off its axis. The language we use in our minds and in our conversations is the leverage we've been looking for. "It is our thoughts that cause us so many problems," says McGinnis in The Power of Optimism. "We psychotherapists should stop asking our patients, 'How does that make you feel?' and start asking, 'What are the thoughts that make you feel this way?'" The most famous example of the difference between optimism and pessimism is whether the glass is half full or half empty. Let's say I am dying of thirst in the desert, and you bring me a glass of water filled up halfway. If I am an optimist I'll say, "Thanks for the water!" If I am a pessimist I will say, "Where's the rest of the water?" So, was the glass really half full or half empty? It isn't a matter of which is true, because both perceptions are equally true. It's a matter of which perception is more useful. When I say the glass is half full, all the cells in my body are listening in. My cells always respond to all my thoughts and my speaking. When I say the word "full," they respond in a more satisfied and biologically grateful way. It is of more service to my life to be optimistic. It is stronger to be optimistic and it leads to higher levels of energy. Talking Back to Prozac If I complain about the empty part of the glass, my vitality sags with my words. I am disappointed, and the disappointment causes my energy to leak a little. The negative cycle has begun, and it always encompasses mind, body, and spirit. Dr. McGinnis cites studies that show that optimists excel in school, have better health, make more money, establish long and happy marriages, stay connected to their children, and even live longer. An optimist is different from a pessimist in this primary way: He or she is aware of the choice. There are two ways to see everything: the bright side and the dark side. If I see the choice, I own the outcome. If I don't see the choice, I am a trapped victim. Even something as "bad" as depression contains a choice. The psychiatrist Peter Breggin, who wrote the courageous Talking Back to Prozac, sees something bright in the darkest depression in his patients. "The depth of their depression reflects the heat of passion burning within them. I explain, 'The intensity of your suffering reflects the intensity of your life energy; imagine how fully you will live when you learn to use it creatively.'" Inside every victim is an owner ready to live. The first step toward new life is the knowledge that optimism is not a personality trait, it is a choice. Begin today to study your own habitual way of describing situations. When you see that you've taken a pessimistic view, don't condemn yourself or take the absurd position that it's part of your permanent personality. Simply become interested in it. Then experiment with it. Ask yourself, "What might be good about this situation? How could this situation make me stronger?" By looking at your own life this way, you will start to experience a new excitement about your own mind. You will begin to see that your mind was given to you to use to create the person you want to be. Visit www.SteveChandler.com for more information.
