My Thoughts on Life as a Teenager

Tuesday, January 22, 2018

I'm a 13-year-old girl, I like K-pop, I enjoy socializing with people and I'm outgoing. From the outside, I always look happy and full of joy smiling joking around with my friends (you know who you are). but I'm not always like that deep down. I often think to myself and wonder how much I can change and what the future expects for me. I always doubt myself because I'm afraid that if I'm too confident about my future then what if all of a sudden it gets taken away from me, and I end up jobless or without much to dream for.  I am just like anybody else, I eat, sleep, go to school and have a normal social life but nobody knows my thoughts nor my feelings. There was a time period last year where I felt somewhat depressed, the weird thing is that I didn't know why. I felt this gloom and sorrow in my soul. And I didn't really know how to explain it only if you've been in that situation,  you would know how it feels. Thankfully, I don't feel that way anymore. I've never been the one to say "I love you" nor to my parents, no one. I always thought it was cringy. And yes I still feel that its cringey I think it was mostly because growing up no one ever said that to me. Yes, I know that my parents love me and all but I would've wanted them to be more affectionate with me growing up. I felt like I lost that as well, the courage of affection and yes I'm cringey too for saying that but I'm being serious. I just wanted to let it out. I don't think I've ever told that to anybody. Most adults think that our life is easy because we don't pay bills etc. but we still have mandatory things to do and we are vulnerable to comments that are made about us the good or the bad. Being a teenager isn't fun, you're constantly thinking about your self-esteem and your reputation in school or if you did something good or bad. Being a teenager sometimes makes you feel depressed because of a "phase" that you're going through or self-discovery of who you truly are. Your teenage year is really important into the type of person that you will become. You have to be careful who you hang out with or the influences around you. I know that I try my best to do that as well, to not try to let the attention of people get the best of me. EVER. I'm childish, yes. Always trying to enjoy the good side of our youth and to enjoy every second of it.