My Best Friends Sister - One shot.

Dear Emily - One shot.

Dear Emily - 

I want to say that I'm okay, that I'm moving on. But I can't. You're gone and I don't know what to do anymore. They said it was an accident, one candle was lit and the whole apartment goes up in flame. I know better. Emmett thinks I'm depressed, I guess he's right. Everyone has moved on but I can't seem to.

You have a hold on me Em. That's what I know. Before, I was just an arrogant soccer player who lost his parents and slept around. Now, I'm different. I no longer sleep around and I gave up soccer. Despite the changes I have made. I am still the same Parker that fell in love with you.

I'm trying to move on, it seems as though the world has. You don't know what's it's like to be in love with you Emily. Yes, you're gone and maybe I'm insane or depressed or mentally ill, but I'm still in love with you. It's hard to believe that just a year ago you were here, living and breathing. I guess it's amazing how fast time flies when the love of your life is gone. 

I didn't expect to see your father crying, ever. But the moment he found out about the fire and you, he broke down. Literally, falling to his knees and screaming your name. Emmett locked himself away for weeks, he refused to leave his room. I'd like to tell you that I was okay. I was hollow inside, numb even. It was hard to face the truth, Lee was the one who made me realize what happened. That kid misses you almost as much as I do. 

Life sucks, huh. I should have known better than to believe that I finally had a chance to be happy. The car accident that I lost my parents and Annalise, it pushed me into a hole. I never ever thought that I could feel any worse than I did then. But losing you Em, I feel like I'm in the deepest darkest parts of hell constantly.

Therapy is hell, I finally understand what you went through. Funnily enough Dr Harrison is my therapist. Emmett suggested him, believing that it would connect me to you. Cliche or what? This whole writing to you is his idea. Some nights I make myself think that you're just away at college or something and come the holidays you'll walk through the door and kiss me. 

What hurts the most? Probably that as soon as I managed to make things right with you, I lost you. College seemed out of the question for a while, but I figured that you'd want me to go and make a future for myself. Emmett and Michelle drop in from time to time. They seriously need to get together. After the fire Emmett stopped his player ways. As much as I hate to admit it, Emmett and I fell apart. We're no longer as close as we used to be. 

You don't know how much I wish I could just see your face for one last time. I long for one last touch, kiss, hug, anything even an argument. Maybe then I could let go, move on find someone and make a life, a family. My apartment is right around the corner from the college, so I can wake up as late as I want and be there on time. I'm majoring in law, trying to get into the police force and become a firefighter. You always did love the uniform.

It doesn't matter how many girls hit on me, I always tell them I'm taken. That might not necessarily be true, but it's how I see it. No matter how many times I tell myself to put myself out there and give someone a chance, I can't. As stupid and cliche as it sounds I talk to a picture of you, just hoping that you'll come back. 

Michelle's okay, she went to college and is in the process of getting a degree. The first Christmas without you was probably the hardest, Emmett, Lee and I sat around the apartment being moody and losing our manliness. Despite everything we went through Em, I wouldn't change a thing. Okay maybe I'd change the whole 'break' and sleeping with that girl thing. 

Emily, you wouldn't want me to be like this. Maybe I am crazy and deserve to be in an insane asylum, it seems so stupid to be hung up on a girl that isn't even around anymore. But I am. They say never to blame someone for something that seems inevitable, but I blame Daniel. He should have left you alone, he knocked over that stupid candle. Daniel at least had the decency to admit that to me. If he wasn't a selfish dick then maybe he would have gone back in for you, instead of running for his life. Dr Harrison thinks that this will help me, but writing to someone who isn't here for me to talk to isn't going to help. So I guess this is me officially saying goodbye. This will be my first and last letter to you Em. Trust me when I say I do still listen to all your music. You had better taste than I thought. We all miss you Emily. Me more than others. I guess that's what happens when you're in love. Even when they're gone you can't stop loving them. People might not remember us like they do for Romeo and Juliet, we might not seem important. But we are. Emily we only had a short time together, but it will go on for as long as there is a sun. Infinity. 

Although you may not be here to hug me and tell me you love me, I will forever love you Emily Winston. That is my promise to you. 

Man, you were so much more than my best friend's sister Em. You are infinity.

- Parker Adams.

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This is my one shot for Knightsrachel's book My Brother's Best Friend. I hope you enjoyed.

~ Gemgemxxx