You Have The Right To Remain Silent

Chapter 11

Jessica's P.O.V

This was one of the most difficult days of my life. Telling Mark I wasn't making the five hour trip with him. It was a difficult decision to make, but I just wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to move in with Mark and I definitely wasn't ready to go to the alter.

I paced around my room before picking up my phone and deciding to text Mark. I had to at least tell him to his face.

Hey

The response was almost instant

Hey. Can I come over?

I was a bit taken back, but I let him know that it was okay. My palms were sweating at what Mark might say. He had always been understanding and compassionate and he was a good fit in my life. I didn't want to lose him, but I wanted to be sure when I did everything. I didn't want to hop into situations and not be able to back out.

I went to the kitchen and did what I always did when I was nervous or scared. I ate. I opened the bag of chips and took one out. Food had been a comfort through out my life and it didn't stop during my adulthood. I suppose that was the reason I was so overweight.

I was only 5' 8 and I weighed close to three hundred pounds. I wanted to lose weight, I just couldn't.

I continued snacking on the chips. I wasn't hungry or thirsty, but that didn't stop me. I continued eating the chips and took some ice tea out of the fridge. I poured the drink in a cup as the door bell rung. I took a deep breath and prepared myself to face Mark.

"Hey." Mark greeted with a smile and a kiss to my cheek as he entered my house. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my mouth. It was surprisingly comfortable and made my body tingle with heat.

"What's with the warm greeting?" I joked with a smile.

"I just want to show my woman what she'll be missing when I leave."

I raised my eyebrow and unwrapped Mark's arms from around me.

"How'd you know I wasn't going?" I questioned.

He shrugged his shoulders, "you're stubborn and you barely started saying you love me."

"I don't like to be rushed into things."

"Yep, you were definitely rushed into this relationship after one year."

I paused and walked to the opposite side of the island in my kitchen. I leaned on the counter and stared at Mark.

"What are you trying to say Mark?"

"What I'm trying to say? I'm guess I'm trying to say, I'm trying. I have done everything in my power to get you to trust me, but still you don't. I understand you've been hurt, I understand everything, but I'm beginning to feel that you don't love me because you don't love yourself."

"Mark, just go."

"Go? You're kicking me out?"

"You heard me."

"So you're kicking me out for telling the truth?"

"Get out Mark!"

"Maybe I don't want to."

"Leave."

Mark paused and leaned against the counter.

"You've been hurt Jessica and God forbid someone actually try to love you. Someone who makes you feel good about yourself."

"Leave Mark." I whispered.

"I'm leaving and I'm not coming back."