Fade Out

Hurt

I was about to pull the trigger, I had to end this whole fiasco,I wouldn't let you humiliate me one more time..I sobbed so loudly and my hands were shaking profusely,it was all her fault,I should kill her,that's right,wipe her off the earth...
She was weeping and I had pity on her but it was so difficult cause she made my life so miserable...
"I'll kill you,you two timing bitch" I yelled,fear in my voice..
"Please don't,I'll take everything back,please Hannah I'll..."
"Shut up bitch!"I screamed cutting in "you can never wipe off this memory,get that into your thick skull"
Next thing I heard was a gunshot.Beatrice!oh God I didn't do it.. It hit her on her chest and she was down struggling for her life,she coughed out blood. "nooooo! I didn't do it,Beatrice don't die,I only wanted to scare you,please hold on"..I sobbed loudly...
The siren filled the air and I knew I was in trouble..my life can't end this way,I was the victim here..
"Put her in cuffs quickly" the officer commanded
"Officer I didn't do it,I swear I'm innocent.I don't recall pulling the trigger please don't take me away" I was going mad..
"Don't worry girl,we'll just remind you how it happened"
"Take her to the station" I started crying,my dad is going to be disappointed,I never meant to fail him..
I was put in the police van as I watched Beatrice being rushed to the hospital...I was in deep trouble..
I was put in a cell separate from other criminals,still sobbing I was asked of my parent's phone number which I gave.
My mum would come but my dad wouldn't, he hated being put to shame...

* * * * * * * *
I came into consciousness as the officer in charge called my name.."your mum is here to see you"..
"

Mum,I didn't do it" a tear dropped on my t-shirt..
"Please help me"
"You always do shameful things" she was crying and about to scream.."you've never done anything else but disgrace me" and then she left...
I let out the tears... No one believed in me,especially those that mattered,no one loves me or trusts me..I'm always at fault..
Some thing had to be done,I can't pay for a crime I didn't commit....

A word came in from Bethel's specialist hospital,Beatrice was dead..
"You brat!who thought you how to mess with a gun? You'll definitely pay for this" the officer threatened...
I didn't want this to happen,in fact I wanted her to see me become far better than what she saw me as.
A weaklen...

My stomach was grumbling badly and I needed to eat,but this wasn't the time for that..I needed to get out and help myself..
There was chaos suddenly and next thing I saw was a woman dressed in black coming right at me with an umbrella.."where's that girl,you will pay for this.what did Beatrice ever do to you,she could never hurt a fly... Is this how you were trained?"
"I didn't do it ma,I swear I didn't" the tears were uncontrollable..This whole thing is messy...
My eyes stung and I began sobbing...

* * * *
The jiggling of keys woke me up..
"I hired you a lawyer,there is nothing more to defend because its really obvious you killed her but he'll try" she was obviously pissed.."let's go home for now"

The drive home was long and quiet,I didn't want to come home,this was tiring me already and I needed it to end..I was going up stairs...
"Young girl stop right there and hand me your phone, you are going no where from now on neither will you talk to anyone"my dad came out of his sturdy.
"You are a disgrace to me and this entire.."
"I know dad" I cut in
"I know..I have always been,you never like what I do" I paused trying to arrange my thoughts.. "but have you ever wondered why I'm this way?" My eyes stung badly as a tear dropped.

"you and mum never have time for me,you never listen to me,you're always busy else you would have known what Beatrice made me go throw. You're too judgemental else I would have told you how she had me raped"
shock took over their faces..

"Yes! She had me raped by some bad guys in school,what now? Don't be shocked cause its already late"

"But thats not a reason to kill dear" mum said sympathetically...

"But I didn't."

"You must be going through trauma since you can't remember that you did" mum's features became softer.

"I said I didn't"
I stormed off sobbing with my shoulders shaking immensely.
I banged the door of my room and laid down and then it dawned on me,if I didn't act fast I would end up dead as well..I took out my phone,good thing I didn't give mum,I needed to call my best friend,maybe Clara could help me..

"God Hannah,I heard what happened,can I see you?"

"Yes please I need your help,let's meet at the park."