Prologue

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It's not hard to love someone if that someone loves you back. But if not, where will you stand? But it hurts more if that someone you love, has already inlove with someone else.

“I thirsted for you in the pointless way. I needed your love. I craved your kisses. I demanded for your hugs. I wanted you the way clouds want the sky, routinely running each other’s back. I needed you the way trees need water, thirsting and begging for some every single day. I desired for you in so many ways, to the highest infinity, like there’s no more tomorrow in my need for you. I’m so inlove with you. I always have been...” I'm wiping my tears as it constantly deluging on my cheeks. I can’t really help it.

Every single stroke I am making just to write this letter makes me even sadder, but I need to do this. I have to do this.Yes I know you’re happy, but not because of me, literally. You’re inlove with someone else, and that’s indisputable. Damn it! But as what other says that if you do love someone, his/her happiness will be your happiness too. As long as I know that you’re fine with your guy, I’ll try to be too...” and a roaring lightning flashed on my window, and it did interrupt what I am writing. I can see my reflection on my window and I can’t have any perfect adjective for me to describe myself at this very moment. Frustrated? Broken? I don’t know.

It’s always been raining everytime I write a letter for her. I just don’t know why the chill of this fickle weather embraces my need for this girl, and it’s driving me crazy. It may look funny to others, but for me? It’s my only way on how to express and expose my feelings for her. She’s my everything, my life, my inspiration, my everyday need and many more.

“Honey! It’s time for dinner!” mom called out, and it made me panic.

“Coming mother!” oh I think I just whispered my response. I just can’t utter loudly even a single word.

I instantly turned the lamp off and walked away from my study table. I dropped the pen and my paper, and flashed my way down to the dining area. We finished eating and d*mn it! She’s not yet leaving my mind, she’s just there every single hour and minute of my day; from morning, up to the break of dawn; from the moment I wake up, up to the flash of my last thought at night; just there solitarily, away from my other unwanted thoughts. I admit, I’m so crazy for her.

If only I can write every bit of my feelings for her, then maybe I’ll spend countless rim of paper just to finish my ardent letters of love for my girl.

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