Renesmee's First Christmas [ONESHOT]

Renesmee's First Christmas

JACOB'S POV

Tension.

That's all I ever felt anymore.

Constant, unrelenting tension.

I sat inside Charlie Swan's house and watched everyone around me with detached interest. My entire pack, along with Charlie, Sue, Edward, Bella, and Renesmee had decided to get together for Christmas. Even Emily and Sam had joined us.

I think Charlie was the only one who didn't know what was really going on. He didn't know that we decided to celebrate the holiday together because it might be our last. He didn't know that we were waiting for our possible death to arrive in the form of the Volturi, though I seriously doubted he missed the tense atmosphere. He didn't want to know about our world, had even requested not to be told anything after I phased in front of him and Bella turned into the Corpse Bride.

But he wasn't stupid either. He knew something was up. The wolves were a little too hyper about the upcoming battle and were doing little to hide their excitement. Sue's jaw kept clenching, and she'd occasionally reach out a trembling hand to touch Leah and Seth, as if to reassure herself that they were still there and alive. Edward and Bella's eyes kept glancing around the room, constantly keeping Renesmee in their sights. And he couldn't have missed me sitting in his living room chair, staring off into space like a zombie, a plate of uneaten holiday food on the floor next to me.

Life could really be a fickle bitch sometimes. One minute, I'm swearing my eternal love to a girl. The next minute I'm imprinting on her newborn daughter...a daughter I'd wanted to kill moments before I'd even laid eyes on her.

Guilty pain hit me as I thought back to that moment in time. The idea of Renesmee coming to any harm, especially by my own hand, was intolerable. In the second of laying eyes on her, she became my entire world. Renesmee made me feel whole in a way no one else ever could. I wasn't in love with her—hell, far from it. She was just a kid, barely three months old, though she looked like a small toddler. But I did love her with everything in me.

Nessie had managed to capture my heart and take away all the pain and grief I'd experienced in my lifetime. She made the hurt of losing my mom, of being abandoned by my sisters, of having to deal with Billy's medical issues by myself—all of it—she had the power to make all the misery of my past disappear just by smiling at me. When I was around Nessie, I forgot everything else. I wasn't Jake the son or Jake the Alpha...I was just her Jake, put on this planet to adore her, which I did without hesitation. Keeping Renesmee safe and happy was the only thing I truly wanted to do with my life. Everything else came second to that. And that was exactly the way I wanted it. Making Ness happy made me happy. But could I keep her safe?

I sucked in a breath and leaned forward in my chair so that my elbows rested on my knees, my hands clasped together. What if the Volturi were successful in their plans to destroy my imprint? The idea was too much for me to handle and I rushed to my feet, my shaking fists clenched to my side. Bella looked over at me in worry, but I couldn't meet her eyes. Instead, I made my way over to the living room window and stared out. No matter what happened when they finally came—even if it meant giving my own life—Renesmee wasn't going to die by them.

I felt a small hand touch the bare flesh of my knee. Images popped in my head. I saw myself getting up from the chair, anger on my face. I was also overwhelmed with the sensation of being concerned...an emotion that wasn't coming from me. I forced a smile on my face as I peered down at my little imprint. She was staring back at me, worry evident in her chocolate brown eyes. I felt my heart swell as I returned her gaze. She was so young, yet she always seemed to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders.