Safer to hate her...

Too much, too much is never enough

I had you and I gave you up

No idea where my mind was for months

I woke up, I cashed in all of my luck

Walked hand and hand with your trust

And everybody was kissing on fire

And we all got burnt

It'd be safer to hate her

Than to love her and to lose her

It'd be safer to hate her all around

Caught you having a laugh

Did you catch me have the last?

I've been smiling like this for days

Just to make up for my mistakes

In the dark, I watch everyone disappear

And I am beginning to let myself down

I am pushing everyone that was in, out

It'd be safer to hate her

Than to love her and to lose her

It'd be safer to hate her all around

And nobody knows what it's like

To live and die on the inside

Nobody knows what it's like

To be one of a kind

When we die, do we feel alive?

When we die, do we feel alive?

It'd be safer to hate her

Than to love her and to lose her

It'd be safer to hate her all around

Sharply I pulled the earphones from my ears causing pain to erupt in either side of my head.

I swore loudly as I did so, not caring who heard me or about the disapproving looks I was getting from an elderly couple that sat across from me on a park bench opposite. 

I was still not 100% sure on how I had even gotten to the park but by the stains on my jeans and the bruises forming on my knuckles I almost was glad I had no memory of the previous night.

Memories were for suckers anyway, they just reminded you of all the shit things that had already happened in your life and all the bad things that you couldn't change.

Memories, in my opinion were there to torment you and ridicule you about your past something I was all too familiar with.

I felt like growling at the couple just to see their reaction, why did they get to be so happy and in love yet it seemed I was destined to be alone. 

I realised I was acting like a complete douche but I no longer cared, emotions were for wimps and cowards. I was neither. I was Sam Heart, a name I found highly ironic considering my heart had been ripped out months ago by her…

Instead I stood up, carefully making sure I stood up to my full height to look more intimidating in case the old man tried something with that stick of his. I didn’t want to catch anything and I had no idea where that dirty thing had been. 

Suddenly I was surrounded by darkness as my pure jet black hair fell over my face. Blocking out any light.

I flipped my head back as confidently as I could to get the hair from out of my eyes. I knew people were always staring at me. Whether they meant to or not, they all seemed to be hypnotized by the way I looked.