Everything Changed And My Life Is A Mess

CHAPTER 1: Into The Fire

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters, except Charlotte and others I may create, they belong to Shonda Rhimes, same for places and other stuff.

A/N: Before we begin, I have a few things to say.

1. This is the AU of If/Then (8x13), but you may have read that in the summary.

2. I'm not a native English speaker. I'm from Germany, so there may be mistakes, don't kill me for that.

3. This is also my first published story in English and my first published multi chapter fanfiction (but I also published this one on fanfiction.net, you can find me there as ThrawnsGirl).

4. You may notice that all the chapters are named after songs that played in Grey's Anatomy at some point.

Okay, let's start!

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CHAPTER 1: Into The Fire

(Song by Thirteen Senses)

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It was the hardest thing Addison Montgomery Shepherd had ever done in her life. She didn't just had told her husband, that she had cheated on him. She had had to tell him, that it wasn't his baby she carried.

He just had opened towards her, had admitted something was wrong with him, and had said he was happy about the baby, was looking forward to it.

And then she had said it. Quick and painless. She had had an affair with Mark Sloan, a colleague and good friend from New York. At the time the baby had been conceived, Derek had been at a conference in London for two weeks. They barely had sex anyway and then he hadn't been here and she and Mark had had all the time and space...

Now she was 36 weeks pregnant - just another month to due date - and all the time Derek had believed it was his baby. He hadn't been happy. He was turned to himself more than ever, was home less and less, slept in the hospital to work on his clinical trial - she wasn't even sure if this trial existed - or lived in his trailer in the woods. He became a careerist, just as an excuse so he wouldn't have to come home.

Addison had built up the baby furniture alone - heavily pregnant - while he had been in the trailer. He was planning a house. For more than a year now. It wouldn't be built. And even if it would, she would never live in it. Because she had cheated on Derek and carried another man's child. Addison and Derek was over. And she couldn't have stand it any longer. McDreary was what the residents called him. And it fit perfectly. She couldn't have someone like him on her side any longer.

Mark had offered to take care of the baby a long time ago. The only requirement: She had to finally tell Derek. But she wasn't sure if Mark really meant it. He was a man whore. For him it was just about the sex. Even though he had said it, he probably didn't love her - he just wanted to trump Derek. And she... She didn't know.

How Derek was standing in front of her now. She even felt sorry for him, just a little bit. He looked at her, shocked, sadness in his eyes.

And suddenly his expression changed to anger. He turned around and before either one of them could react, his fist hit Mark's face. Blood ran down from the plastic surgeon's nose and he groaned with pain.

"Derek!" Addison explained and wanted to jump up from the couch, but her swollen belly really was in the way. "Leave him alone! It was my fault."

"But I don't hit women!" he shouted back and she winced. "Because unlike him, I have honor!"