Skulduggery Pleasant Spoof: Protect Who?

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Dusk sat in the chair at the secret hide-out, he was meeting some people who were looking to recruit him for something. He wouldn't have come but the pay was so good even he couldn't resist. The door opened and he knew bad things were going to happen.

Billy-Ray Sanguine walked into the meeting room and swore, "Really? You're here?"

Dusk sighed, "Hello Sanguine."

"So you're roped into this too?"

"Yep."

The Texan hit-man deluxe sat down in the chair next to the vampire and crossed his arms.

They both looked over at the door as it burst open and two men came in.

"Shut up Thrasher, you're only here because I don't trust you alone with the van and I'm afraid you'll do something stupid." Vaurian Scapegrace, the Zombie King, the Killer Supreme said angrily as he barged into the room.

Thrasher opened his mouth to reply but stayed silent as the two zombies realized who they shared a room with.

Then Scapegrace puffed out his chest, a defiant look coming into his eyes. "If it isn't Sanguine and Du-"

Dusk hissed and Sanguine flicked open his straight razor, making Scapegrace yelp and held out his arms to shield himself. Thrasher cowered behind Scapegrace.

After a few moments and the ones sitting didn't make a move to hurt them, they calmed down and sat far away from them.

They had gotten settled just as the door opened again and three people entered, two women and a man. The veiled woman started the meeting. "I will keep this quick and simple," Madame Mist said calmly. "I know of your past with the person this case involves and this time you will not be trying to kill them, but protect them."

Sanguine frowned, Scapegrace looked confused, Thrasher looked lost and Dusk didn't respond.

"This is a matter concerning the Supreme Council and the fact they have sent an assassin to kill this person," Mist continued. "But we still need this person alive so we have enlisted your help to make sure they don't succeed in their plan."

"Okay," Sanguine said. "I get what you want us to do, I know Dusk does too, and I'll make sure the idiot and the wimp understand, but who exactly is the person we have to protect?"

Valkyrie Cain woke up in her bed and stretched, her jaws opening wide in a satisfying yawn. She lay in bed for a few more minutes then got up and padded to the bathroom.

Twenty-minutes later, she was dressed in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and going downstairs to have some breakfast. 'Or brunch,' she thought as she saw the time on a wall clock.

Valkyrie reached the kitchen and walked in, too lost in thought to notice the four men sitting at her kitchen table. She made a bee-line to the fridge and opened it. "Damn lazy cows," she grumbled when she noticed they were out of milk. She sighed and looked at the rest of the fridge to see it barren of any food life.

She shut the fridge and opened the cabinets one by one only to become slightly frantic as she came up empty at every place food would hide. They were even out of bread. Valkyrie sighed; her parents were going to the Villa in France, leaving her with her baby sister, Alice, for at least a month. Of course they didn't trust her alone so they sent her to her Aunt and Uncle's but she really didn't like them so she sent her reflection instead.

Finally, after every single place that food resided in was checked, she was about to admit defeat. Then she saw the freezer.

Desperate, Valkyrie opened the freezer and stared. A single container of ice cream sat in the middle of the otherwise empty space. After a few moments she reached in and grabbed it.

She stood for a few moments, vaguely wondering how long it had been there. But her hungry belly brought her back to the present so she opened the top and took a tentative sniff of the vanilla ice cream. It smelled normal, she licked it. It tasted normal.

Valkyrie shrugged and went to grab a bowl and spoon. Once that was out, she took out an ice cream scoop and attempted to scoop out her breakfast but it was like trying to scoop concrete. Determined not to starve, the young sorceress tipped the ice cream over the bowl and began to hit the bottom of the container with the scoop until a solid block of ice cream fell into the bowl. Valkyrie grinned and went to get a bite out of the treat but the spoon got stuck. After a few tugs the block came up with the spoon and she examined it for a few moments then licked it and turned.

And let out a muffled yelp, tongue still on her breakfast.

"Hello Lil' Darlin," Billy-Ray Sanguine said in greeting. "Now before you scream or call your friends or punch us in the face let me just say, we come in peace."

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⏰ Last updated: Jul 09, 2014 ⏰

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