Here We Go Again(RE-EDITING)

1.HERE WE GO AGAIN: The girl that everyone pities

*Renita's POV*
Why is it that when you need to sleep you can't?
But it seems like that's not happening tonight.

Not with the music invading  my house, the bass bouncing and ricochetting off the walls. Okay I may have been exaggerating things ever so slightly... But hey to me it felt like it was.

What can I say?

I've been told that I have a 'wild' imagination.

I sat on my bed  imagining just how my first day would play out, hopefully not as bad as I  imagine but if you prepare for the worst it hurts a little less. 
I want it to be perfect and well  I could  only justify why with two simple answers; I am a perfectionist and I guess part of me just wants things to slow down, I want to settle down. Build a life for myself. Naive I know.
But I've always been a firm believer that if you want something, you've got to work for it. No one will do it for you.
I feel the sunlight trickle through the blinds and I'm wide awake staring in mid-air. The soft breeze blowing through the slightly open windows tickles my face. Taking a deep breath in and then exhale with a huff.
I roll out of bed and sit on the slope of my windows and pulled out my laptop. My fingertips start dancing furiously on the keyboard.

Curiosity got the best of me so I logged onto my Facebook. I looked at the first post and wished that I didn't.
It was a picture.
A fucking picture.
It was a picture of me.
Me and a guy...
I couldn't bare to be reminded and humiliated all over again.
Everything was a mess. I never seem to be able to say or do the right thing, no matter what I say or did, no matter how much I try,  I was always going to be that girl.
The girl that everyone pitied. The fragile girl who couldn't say no. Who couldn't even defend herself.

Eventually I started believing it myself.
I slammed the laptop shut.
I swallowed the lump in my throat as my eyes began to water up.

There was something about the caption that really hurt me.

His words invaded my brain leaving lethal time bombs in my mind, they pierced my heart tearing apart whatever defence I had.
'You will always be mine, I forgive you.'
All I could think about were the promises he make me. He promise to take care of me, to help me get better. But I was dumb enough to trust him.
He was going to be my first, that's how much I trusted him.

My head was pounding like and the guilt was eating me alive. But  the worst feeling ever was the  humiliation that grew so thick that it clouded my judgement I sobbed so hard before I chuckled lifelessly before I crawled back into bed.
I dug my nails into my palm piercing my skin and drawing blood as my eyes began to lull and shut.

My eyes began to flutter open when the sun's beams penetrated the windows and slapped my face. I let out a yawn and sat up.

Today's the day.