Hey Otto i'm so sorry if you read this, but Awsten and Travis asked for it. They ask, they receive. Also Awsten fuck you play easter egg on tour. Geoff told me you're the one that makes the setlist SO DO IT.
Ever since Otto was a child, he's had an obsession with goats. His parents didn't like it. They thought it was unhealthy and disturbing, so they never got him a goat. It made Otto very sad so he took to playing drums to distract him from the void in his heart that only a goat could fill.
One day when Otto was older, he decided to venture out into the scary, goatless lands of Houston. As soon as he got to the large city, he was determined to find a stuffed animal. It was the next best thing to having an actual goat on his farm. Or so he thought. As Otto was walking around the city trying to find a store that looked like it would sell what he was looking for, he caught a glimpse of a familiar setting. There was grass, some trees, and a lot of animals. The sight of animals lured him in and he began walking towards them in a daze.
A large honking noise brought him out of a daze. When he came to, he realized he was lying on some concrete.
"Oh my god, are you okay?" Someone asked the tiny man.
Otto looked around confused and stood up. He was okay, just very confused as to what just happened. He brushed it off and continued walking towards his destination.
"Wait. What the fuck? These aren't animals!" Otto exclaimed.
When he looked at one of the supposed animals, he realized they were humans dressed as animals. A sign above him read "Furry Convention". Otto was very sheltered as a child and had absolutely no clue what a furry nor a convention was. He shrugged and kept going in hopes to find a stuffed animal that would cater to his needs.
"Hey baby, you come here often?" A nasally voice asked Otto.
"Come where? I don't come anywhere." Otto replied to the man.
He looked at him and realized that this man was not dressed like the other people in animal forms. He had ripped clothes on and only one sandal.
"What's your name?" The man asked.
"I'm Otto. Who are you?" Otto said hesitantly.
"My name is Travis. What brings you to this freak show, my dear Otto?" Travis got up and walked towards him.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"I mean, everyone here is obviously a bit crazy in the head..." Travis stated like it was obvious.
"I have to go." Otto said, slightly offended.
Otto walked away from the man who looked like he hadn't showered in fucking weeks. As soon as he made his way to a different part of the convention, he laid eyes on a purple haired man who was all done up like... like a goat! Otto started uncontrollably drooling as soon as the man came into his view. He went up to him and reached out and touched his hair.
"Baa!" The man screamed and looked at Otto.
Otto was taken aback and removed his hand from the mans head.
"Don't stop." He whispered, grabbed Otto's hand and put it back in it's place. Otto kept petting the goat man.
"Your hair is very nice." He told the man on the ground, "Would you like to come back to my farm with me?"
The goat- no the man vigorously nodded his head.
"I am Baa-wsten." The goat spoke to him.
Otto sat on the goat as he crawled to the bus station to head back to the farm. Hopefully for good...
IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME FATHER FOR I HAVE SINNED
