Soul Deep - Part One: Pack

Soul Deep - Part Two: Parted

1983

Tony lay on his back, gazing up at the sky through the dappled canopy of trees in the small wooded area at the bottom of the school sport field. It was a hot day, and Shanti was lying beside him, the sun warming her golden fur.

“DiNozzo! Hey…DiNozzo!” He could hear them calling for him in the distance, but he ignored it.

“You’ll get into trouble,” Shanti told him, nibbling on one of her paws.

“Don’t care.” He turned his head and grinned at her.

“When you get paddled, I feel it too,” she reminded him crossly.

He just laughed. “Last time you roared so hard they had to call in two housemasters to stop you killing the headmaster’s daemon.”

“I don't like you being hurt, and the headmaster’s daemon is an idiot. Anyway, why are you hiding down here?” she asked.

“Dunno…I feel…weird. Been feeling it all day. Kinda jumpy…restless…anxious…like something big's about to happen.”

“Nothing big ever happens,” she said sulkily, laying her head on his chest. “But you’re right about the feeling. I keep wanting to howl, and I have no idea why.”

“Me neither.” Tony continued gazing up at the sky, one hand gently stroking Shanti’s cheek. He rubbed behind her ear, and she purred.

If he closed his eyes he could imagine he was in his happy place, by the creek in the woods at Stillwater. Jethro was there, sitting on that green and red checked blanket with Tessa by his side, and Shanti was romping around in puppy form, happy and carefree.

Tony opened his eyes. “D’you think you’re gonna stay a lion?” he asked Shanti, tweaking the ear he’d been rubbing.

“I have no idea.” She turned into a cockatiel to illustrate that point and flew up into a nearby tree. “I like being able to fly!” she called down to him.

“Me too!”

He closed his eyes again and allowed himself to experience flying through her eyes. She swooped through the air towards him and landed on his forehead. She strutted around on his head and then hopped off and changed into a dog. She wasn’t such a small puppy these days but mid-sized, her paws enormous compared to the rest of her. They were both always tripping over their own large feet.

“Why do you think my feet grow faster than the rest of me?” he asked her.

“Do they?” She trotted around him, sniffing at his hands and feet. “I think all of you is growing fast. You’re tall. Like your father.”

He fell silent at that, feeling sullen. He was about to say something biting in reply when a wave of the most intense joy spread through him.

“Oh my God!” He sat up. “Do you feel that?”

“I do!” Shanti got up and ran around in circles. “Oh…that’s…it’s so beautiful!” She jumped up into the air in lion form, changed into a butterfly in mid-air, fluttered her wings, changed into a cockatiel, flew onto his shoulder, and jumped down to the ground as a dog.

Tony gazed at her in wonder. “Such happiness…so much joy…what is it? Why do I feel like this? What does it mean?”

“I don’t think it’s you. I think you are feeling someone else’s joy,” Shanti said quietly, becoming a lion again and sitting down beside him.

“Who? My father?” he said that with a snort. “I haven’t even seen him in months. And hell, I never know what he’s feeling even when I’m with him and can see him with my own eyes. Although *that* doesn't happen very often.”