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All I can do is watch as my whole life shatters like a mirror hitting the cold cement that's I let myself expect to support me.
Ice constantly fills my veins and a fierce fire burns up my broken body from the inside.
All of this rage and pain has been trapped inside me, just left their to swirl around my broken heart. My hearts always been broken, ever since I realized that my life is not like the ones around me, and I can't change that. My medicine is drugs and sex. That's the only way I can escape this pain, even if it's just for a little while.
I've learned that I should not love or trust anyone. I've locked myself up in my own little bloody world. I've given up on life, and decided that all I'm good for is other's pleasure. I'm just shattering the already broken scraps of life I have left.
I've given up on happiness and accepted that this is my life and always will be. There is no escape and thinking about how fucked up my life has been for 20 years, since the day I was born, won't help anything.
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The sound of a lighter opens up my eyes. My mom sits on a rocking chair at the corner of the room, a cigarette in her hand and a lost look on her face as she stares at the front door waiting for my controlling father to come home.
I let myself just look at what's become of my mother. I guess she was once such a precious beautiful woman. I never knew that woman though. All I've known my whole life is this cold and lost drug addict. She's just like me.
"Jenna. You need to move out by Monday." She reminds me, still just staring at the door.
Great, I've already been reminded of my fathers threaten to sell me if I don't move out by Tuesday. I really need to get a job, and fast. Theres only five days left, and my dad really would keep true to his word. He despises me. The only use I am to him is taking out his anger and sexual needs if my mother has passed out from all that fucking alcohol she constantly drinks.
I push myself up off the floor and make my way to the bathroom. After cleaning up my dark makeup and caking some more on, I brush past my mother and out the door. My only acknowledgement of her is uttering "Don't wait up" as I coldly walk out of our bashed up apartment.
I make my way down the pavement stairs and across the almost deserted road to the apartment building across from mine.
Niall, a pervert who's always hitting on me, beckons me over hoping to get some but I just ignore him and walk in the other direction to Mitch's apartment.
I've already asked Mitch if he has a job for me but he said he doesn't want me involved with the drug dealing business and all his buddies are just interested in getting me into prostitution.
I let my worn out converse scape on the rough pavement as I wait patiently at the door.
About a minute later the door's opened by a shirtless man with fire tattoos trailing over his built chest. I've seen this man many times before at my usual hangouts, but I've never taken the time to ask his name. I walk past him and into the hot boxed apartment, not doing anything about his hand trailing over my ass.
"Hey." Mitch greets me, pulling away from the hooker sitting on his lap. I don't really know what he is to me. He's more than just an acquaintance, but not a friend. He's someone I have meaningless sex with and do drugs with.
"Hey." I make my way over towards his dresser that's containing exactly what I need.
I open up the top drawer and find my jacket that I left here last night. I take it out of the drawer and pull it on, covering my exposed back. But that's not what I'm looking for.
