Disconnected Chapter One

She’s following me. 

I can just feel her breathing shadow pressed up against my back. Through the crowd of teenage kids, I make my way down the congested halls to the girls’ bathroom. The inside of the school smells like football jocks’ sweat and stale library books. I can’t wait to get out of here. No one sees me. I’m invisible to everyone. Everyone but her. I should have lost her in the crowd by now. Yet I can feel her near, feel her watching me. I wonder if I wedge myself into the crowd I’ll be able to lose her. God, Beth, where are you? I think to myself, as if thoughts of my best friend are going to help get me out of this torture. What does Amelia want with me now? Why can’t she just leave me alone? The clinking and clanking of the steel gray lockers just intensifies the moment, making my nerves vibrate that much more.

 There’s a girl, maybe a freshman or sophomore, drinking from the water fountain near the bathrooms. She’s bending over, taking a sip, and a flag of red wavy hair drops down from her neck, covering her face. Immediately I think of Beth, but it isn’t her. She wouldn’t wear stylish skinny jeans and expensive clothes from Abercrombie like that. Yet I focus on her anyway to keep my mind off what’s behind me. I can’t get cornered again. Not after what Amelia did to me before.

 I get to the girls’ bathroom, trying not to knock down the girl near the fountain, push the door open, and take one quick look around. I peek in each stall and head to the last one, close the door shut and lock it—like that’s going to protect me from Amelia. Please don’t follow me in here, please don’t, I repeat in my mind. And just when I think it’s safe to come out, I hear her voice.

 “Hey, you,” she says. Her words slither right through the stall door. I peek through the small opening, but I see no one.

“Milly, I know you’re in there,” she whispers to me as if she’s right inside my ear.

 “Come out, come out, wherever you are,” she says. “You can never hide from me.”

 As I peek out again, I notice her in one of the mirrors on the other side of the wall.  Amelia then looks me straight in the face. “There you are,” she says. “Told you, you can never hide from me.”

***

 After the incident at school with Amelia, I feel compelled to write in my journal. I want to get it out the best way I know how, the only way I can cope with this.  I race into the house and dart up the stairs and into my bedroom. I then plop my book bag down alongside my desk and take a seat. The cool breeze blowing from the open window feels good, but it won’t blow away my worries. I wish it was that easy. Once I situate myself, I slide out the top drawer and reach for my journal that’s buried under some books. Thumbing through it, I look for a blank page. It seems like I just about used them all up, yet I always find some kind of space to write. Finally I find an open spot of paper and begin to write.

 I hate you, Amelia Norris.

 All you do is trash-talk me. There isn’t a second that

goes by that you don’t notice my mistakes. Dwelling on

them constantly, you chant things like “you’re not good

enough” and “you’re so stupid” when we’re in school

together. Even when you’re not around, I still hear

you. I can’t get you out of my mind. You need to go.

 

I don’t even know why I care about Amelia. She’s just a low-life loser, but one of the smartest seniors in school, if that even really matters. Yet she’s too dumb to figure out why she hates me so much. The only friend I have is Beth Jennings. But not even Beth knows that Amelia is constantly tormenting me. Lately, Amelia’s been saying things behind my back—making rumors that I’ve slept with a few guys already. Why? Just ’cause of Matt Barns? She wants to destroy me any way she knows how. I can care less who she likes and who she doesn’t. Why does she think I’m such a threat to her? She’s trying too hard to get all this attention—and from Matt, who she thinks I’ll take away from her. They’re not even dating. Matt’s the captain of the Coyotes hockey team and extremely attractive, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He’s tall and lean and built and beautiful to look at. Everyone at Harper Valley High has a crush on him. Everyone except me. Amelia can’t seem to get him out of her mind, though. Why does she think Matt likes me and not her anyway?