I get plenty of time to think between sleeping here, I hear them talking about me because they can never tell if I am asleep or awake, either way, some don't think I can hear them at all! I remember the Doctors and Nurses telling the people who thought they knew me that it would be good to talk to me to: 'Make the circumstances more bearable.' Never did they consider how I felt, it was execrable knowing I couldn't tell them that I was alive, I was thinking and that I loved them. I wished and I dreamed of going back to that day and doing it all again, just to tell them I cared for them, to hold them again in my arms. But it was all just a dream and it wasn't worth thinking about, instead I started to think about what I wanted to do before they gave up hope and left me alone, forgotten and unloved.
The only thing I want to do before I die is open my eyes. I want to see my daughter for the last time, tell her I'm sorry, that I didn't mean what I said on that cold December evening. Tell her not to blame herself, it wasn't her fault, that I love her. Let her know that I saved her for my love for her, that I would have done it a million times over if it meant she could live and fulfill the dreams that I was too old to. I would tell her I didn't want to live as a vegetable and I wanted her to turn of that ghastly machine. It was execrable to think of never seeing her, never holding her, never seeing her face light up when she laughs. I am a Mother with unconditional love for her only daughter, only, unlike the other billions of parents, I was physically unable to express it.
I woke up at what I think was the morning to the instantly recognisable voice of my angelic daughter. I thought about what I wanted and tried to send it to her, telepathicaly, I had been attempting for months but today, something seemed to click. I think she could hear me, or at least sense what I was thinking. Suddenly, my eyes snaped open and looked deep into my daughters cobalt eyes and I saw nothing and everything at the same time. It felt like hours, days even but the reality was just under thirty seconds. My ears exploded with a piercing screeching and everyone of my senses cut out again. Except this time, I had no chance of waking up.
