Afterthoughts

Near The End

His sweaty hands gripped the wheel, his face wrinkled up in distraught. At the times where this boy needed to turn he aggressively swept the steering wheel to the side and hit his arm against the car door, despite the smooth material his arm was left bruised. The car was small, hospitable, and overall compact. The outside was a deep blue with dents anywhere and everywhere the eye could see, whether they were small or insignificant. The wheels were turning at an alarming rate, this automobile did not seem able to move as fast as it seemed to be. Then again there are many surprising technologies in this world, isn't there?

Lights bounced up into his eyes, cars moved through the streets but couldn't pass Nicholas, he was moving past the speed limit in his own rage, that had consumed him to the point where he needed to leave his own, quiet home. He squinted to try and see forward, his headlights were dim and the street in front was dark and ominous; cars dashed past but the rest were too interested in the small, broken down vehicle moving past them. The millions of stars above were dulled by the pollution moving past the skies, and yet when a cloud passed the dim reflection of the stars on the sea were enough for Nicholas. the only other light Nick could obviously see was the artificial lights in the city beyond him.

Nicholas Coleman was tired and filled with wrath. He couldn't feel his entire body shaking, it was too subtle, but still there. Goosebumps moved up through his skin, however that was very normal for him. Nick was extremely sensitive to temperature, and of course any human being with this problem would downright hate it. Dawn wasn't nearby, he still felt far from home, and he liked it. His parents had finally had it with his attitude, at school he hardly tried, the point of that education facility was simply to goof around and have fun to him. What little effort he placed into his exams and projects didn't pay off, he definitely wasn't that kind of person who could charm his way through college. Karen Coleman worked as a lawyer, and had been for the majority of her life. Nick never thought his mother acted anything close to a lawyer, but then again he had never paid attention to either of his parents.

Robert Coleman taught sixth grade Mathematics, and had actually been Nick's teacher when he was in sixth grade. That year was hands down Nicholas's least favorite year, no details needed there.

Now finally Nicholas began to calm down. Time broke away at his ability to withstand his aggressive behavior, he leaned back a bit and watched the street signs move past him. Nick's face reflected in the car mirror, his hair was brown and messy, and the circles under his eyes had almost disappeared. He smiled and stared into his own pale, ugly blue eyes but remained in a way focused at the road.

How disturbing, thought Nicholas Coleman, To think that soon I'll be turning 18, soon I'll be an adult and I'll be free from those idiots. His hands clenched tightly at the leather on the wheel. Disturbing? What do I mean by such words? That will be such a joyous occasion.

His car swerved to the right and he continued on a secluded road with bushes lining the sides, trees perfectly placed behind them. The branches swept across each other perfectly and the ones on top of the trees clawed out at the sky. A bit of stars poked eagerly out of the clouds, as if they had been hidden enough by the smog and clouds. Nicholas squinted and felt as if everything was lighter, though dawn was still far and the houses he could see behind the trees were dimly lit. There was some activity in them by the nocturnal folks, and the ones who needed to wake up early for work.

Nicholas moved the gear shift into place and let his body stop shaking. Driving always helped him calm down, but the opposite was true with his parents. As a child Nick dreaded going on drives with his parents, he felt the tension move its way into the car, and he felt as if an accident was definitely going to ensue. Nothing around him felt the same after his parents began to understand Nick, began to see how he felt and how little information he was willing to retain.

As parents with jobs including education and knowledge, Robert Coleman and Karen Coleman were expecting a successful son with the power of smarts, the power to understand and comprehend the world by first glance. Nick felt his car shake and bump up, the coarse road of the neighborhood moving across his tires without grace. He moved to look up at the hill he was driving up, each star moving closer to Nick as if they were calling out to him. 

He smiled, probably for the first time today, and set the car in neutral as he reached the flat top of the mountain. The cliff moved smoothly down, he saw the water underneath it reach out towards the sand and then recoil back to the safety of its engulfing, consuming home. Beyond the sea was a city with lights that danced around, moving, bustling cars constantly rumbling and trying to reach somewhere, someplace. 

It was almost as if calm, melancholy voices had reached into his car and began to soothe his brain. He felt as if there was music where there was none, there was calm, subtle waves inside his own car, reaching out towards him. Calling him to where he belongs, where he always has belonged since the beginning of time. 

Speaking of time, it began to pass. It moved on as Nicholas clung to the thought that time would always stay still, stay present, stay uncertain and yet still as unpredictable and tired as he was. Finally thoughts of the grudges he kept and the words he had spat from his mouth reached his brain and raked at it, the headache ensuing larger than he had experienced before. Soon he would have to return home and stay in his room, with no soothing oceans, no reflecting voices telling him that it's okay to stay the way he is. Growing up and time itself will change, but Nicholas Coleman will stay Nicholas Coleman.

With a swift, wrathful movement, Nick put the car into reverse and closed his eyes for a moment. Then he moved back, opening them and looking back. 

He drove home with a solemn face, tucking all of his feelings, hopes, fears, love, hate, all of it into a container so safe and private he was afraid that with time not even he could open it.