April 20, 2014

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Alex Bertie was right when he said you get attached to binders. I honestly wear mine way too much but I don't really care. As long as I have a flat chest I feel okay.

But the part that really sucks is putting it on and taking it off. Just a few minutes ago I took a shower and it took me something like five minutes to get it on and at one point I looked down and just started crying. I hate how gross it looks. I hate that I have the need to wear this fucking thing.

All my family is okay with it but they always tell me not be ashamed of my body but how the fuck can I not be. I look at myself and see a different person. I don't look like me and honestly I don't know if I ever will. I'm just so disgusted with myself.

But enough about the bad stuff. Happy Easter and I'm gonna dye my hair blue again. Probably like next weekend or something. I got to go camping yesterday and I'm going to my grandma's today and I'm gonna see all my family that I haven't seen in forever. I wonder what they're gonna say when they see me now....

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