The Key to My Heart

Let me start by saying, the saddest part of life, is life itself. Never love anything too much, it can and will eventually disappoint you. And the absolute worst part of this awful, torturous lesson? Learning it the hard way.

For example, let's say you’re on your way home from the pet store with a bright, big brown eyed puppy is sitting on the front seat next to you. The entire car ride home, you're coming up with names for it, and thinking of where you'll put its bed, and what it'll eat. While you're deep in thought, you pull into a long, curved driveway. You park your car, and walk over to the passenger side door. You open the passenger door with wide, loving arms, and just as you go to pick it up, it leaps off the seat and goes sprinting down the dark street, out of sight. Gone.

Sad, right? But I guess for some people it isn't that way. There are always those people we all think are so perfect, happy, and that their lives are completely perfect, right? Not everyone has those issues like you and I have to deal with, right? Those picture perfect girls on TV, I want to be just like them, right? No, you're wrong. Everyone has those kind of problems. So my first word of advice to you is to always remember, you aren't alone in this, and trust me, you'll get through it.

The only real way I can really help you is to tell you my life experiences along the way. And yes, I know what you’re thinking. “Ewh, some old lady's life story, who the heck wants to hear that?” But let me tell you before we get started, I'm only 13.

I know a lot of you out there are having problems. This books main focus is middle school drama for girls, however some boys may be experiencing this kind of stuff as well. I've been through almost everything that comes with middle school. Let me tell you first hand, it's never ever easy, no matter who you are. Sorry, that’s just how it is. But it does get better, ,I promise Now, let's get started.

The thing I probably hate most about life is the constant worrying. Always thinking everyones against me, and that I'm hated. I know it isn't true, but I just can't help but think about things like that. I know I'm not the only one out there who thinks it either. Everytime I log onto facebook, or tumblr, or any social website, I see people posting about being hated or sad and depressed, saying they are alone. Well, it isn't true. You aren't hated, by anyone, and if you are, screw them. You don't need their opinion. Your opinion is the ONLY one that matters. There's no arguement about it. You're number one in life. You might think that I'm just saying that to get my story liked, or even just so you like me, but I really do mean it. You are special, if you weren't, you wouldn't have been put on this planet. Think of it this way, if you weren't special, why would you have been made in the first place? You are importaint, no matter what anyone says.

A lot of girls out there feel the need to punish themselves because they're "hated." Even though it is absolutely, 100% never your fault, they still feel the need to hurt themselves. They cut their wrists, or some other part of the body because it makes them feel better. I know this, because it's something I've gone through. It's not very fun, but in a weird, twisted way, you get pleasure out of it. Here, I'll tell you a story.

There was a point in time earlier this year, I made a new friend. He and I became really close, practically brother and sister. We hung out at school all the time, and just always had fun together. But one day, everything went wrong. I was sitting at home on my big, comfortable couch in my room, and I grabbed my laptop and turned it on. I opened up the internet, and went straight to facebook, then tumblr, then I opened my email. There it was. An email from him. I got so happy inside because I knew he really did care, that I really did have a friend who cares. I opened the "no subject email" with a huge smile on my face, but my heart sank once I read the message. It said"Hey its __, I just want to say you're really stupid for cutting yourself I mean what the heck were you thinking you idiot. I hate you I've always hated you and you're really stupid!" I cried. For hours. I just sat alone in my room. Then the idea hit me. It's my fault he hates me. You know where that lead, don't you? Yeah, cutting. I decided that was the only way to solve the problem. Like maybe he'd understand that I was upset if I did that. So, I just, did.