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51 Things Alice Cullen is Not Allowed to Do
Alice Cullen is not allowed to...
1.Attempt to sell Emmett on ebay
2.Turn Forks High School into a musical
3.Sign Bella up for ballet...
4.And laugh at her as she trips
5.See how many pedestrians she can hit with her Porsche in five minutes
6.Tape a sign to Rosalie's back that says 'Proof that blonde's don't have more fun'
7.Replace Emmett with a grizzly bear, hoping no one will notice...
8.And pretend to cry when the real Emmett eats the bear
9.Lure Emmett to South America with chocolate
10.Complain that her list is more unfair than Jasper's
11.Play dress up with Jasper
12.Throw Edward's piano out the window and blame it on Bella
13.Reenact Alice in Wonderland and convince Emmett to be the Queen of Hearts...
14.And Edward to be the White Queen
15.Replace Edward's CDs with High School Musical soundtracks
16.Give Jacob a shock collar for his birthday
17.Insist that shopping counts as PE credits
18.Start a fortune telling business
19.Paint Edward's toenails pink
20.Get Bella drunk and make her do things Edward wouldn't approve of
21.Dress up all the guys as elves for Christmas
22.Adopt a kitten and cry when Emmett eats it
23.Make Bella wear a pink dress for her wedding...
24.And have Edward wear a matching pink suit
25.Tell young children she's the tooth fairy
26.Paint Emmett's jeep bright pink
27.Dump glitter all over Jasper's Confederate Army uniform
28.Make an army of purple penguins and take over the world
29.Keep Paul as a pet
30.Paint Bella glow in the dark
31.Drag Jasper with her when she shops at Victoria's Secret
32.Paint the stalls in the Forks High School bathroom pink
33Call Edward a soccer mom while making fun of his car
34.Throw Bella a bachelorette party and hire Mike to be a stripper
35Ask random people if they believe in fairies
36.Join What Not to Wear
37.Move to Sesame Street and change Elmo's World to Alice's world...
38.And change the theme song to: La la la la, la la la la, Alice's world
La la la la, la la la la, Alice's world
Alice loves her credit card
Her Porsche too
That's Alice's world
39.Get high off of sharpies
40.Tape a giant poster of Zac Efron to her wall
41.Dress and act like Bella while following her around
42.Sign Edward up to be the next Sex Ed teacher at the high school
43.Tell Emmett that Jasper is Santa in disguise
44.Take Jacob for walks, complaining he's too fat
45.Every time someone asks her to do something, ask them if they would like fries with that
46.Go to McDonalds and ask for diet water
47.Spread rumors that the only reason Edward never had a girlfriend before Bella is because he's gay
48.Tell everyone that talking to Mike on Friday is bad luck
49.Become a spokesperson for adult diapers...
50.And tell Carlisle she can get some for him
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"Finally. Alice really did need one of these," Bella said, taping the large list to the wall.
"Yeah, unlike some of us," Jasper complained, still mad about them making him a list.
They heard a high-pitched squeal, followed by Emmett running down the stairs in a ballerina costume.
"Hey guys! Look, I'm a fairy princess!" he cheered.
Bella held her hand out, and taking the pen from Jasper, wrote:
51.Alice Cullen is not allowed to dress up Emmett as a ballerina, even if he asks her to
