The most desperate measure

What Remains

Manhattan       Christmas day 0023 hours

Save what remains... that was our motto, among other things. Well, not much remains and what does isn't worth saving. Who am I kidding, I expected it to end like this from the beginning, things always have for me anyway.

It's cold and dark, the snow is falling and won't stop; ever since we arrived in this godforsaken city it hasn't. The lights are off, letting only the moon shine on down from its place in the sky, so far away. I see it's reflection in the broken glass on the ground, it looks almost as if it is trying to show me just how broken things are right now, and how quick they can break. I'm shivering, and with every limp stride there is a shot of stinging pain that courses it's way through my leg. The blood on my face has frozen and cemented itself there. Yet, through all the pain, through all the cold and through all the darkness, the one thing that bothers me the most; is that I'm alone.

I walked into this city with people whom I thought were my friends. I trained them, trusted them, and put faith in their resolve to get this done. But just like everyone else in my life, when the fair weather goes away, they do as well. The world is a cruel, cruel place, and if this city has taught me anything about the human condition, it's that there is strength in numbers. I saw how lone agents would be gunned down, dragged through the streets by the savage gangs that call this place home. Or how others were betrayed and sold out by their former teammates. That makes being alone feel ever so slightly better, at least no one is, as of yet, trying to kill me, but they will be soon.

It only took chaos a few days to take this place. A city home to millions of people, crippled and brought to it's knees at the mercy of chaos in no time at all. They sent us to fix it, well, not us specifically, not me anyway. With all the training, all the power and all the technology, they sent the first wave out there and actually expected them to stay on the righteous path, truly underestimating what the power of chaos and disillusionment can do. They didn't do it for money or drugs, or power. The sad part is, they did it to survive, they had no other choice. The first wave came out here and saw just what the real world is like, the strong tried to fight it, or rather, the stubborn, refused to accept what was going on around them. The indecisive and weak, or submissive were killed or were taken under the wings of something much more dangerous. And those who truly understand the problem took charge, and switched to their own side, realizing that there is nothing left that is worth saving. And here I am, at perhaps the same crossroads as the people who I vowed to kill, to stop, and what shall I do now?

My best friend is gone, he left when he realized that the game is more than he bargained for and wasn't worth it. My other friend left when he saw just how dirty the real world can get, he cracked under the pressure. And the girl, who I thought was one of the deepest and most real people, a person who I trusted more than anyone, whose feelings for were more than just a teammate, were never reciprocated. But the problem isn't truly them, it's me. The biggest mistake that I made, other than signing up for this in the first place; was caring too much. I care too much for her, I care too much for them all, and for the mission. I thought that I could solve everything, and I still do, that's why I'm still here, that is why I'm still alive and going to finish my mission. I have nothing left to lose, I have no one to go home to, I have nothing left to protect, I have nothing left to care for. The only thing I have left is resolve... and a mission that I will finish. I am what remains, I am what is left, I am the most extreme measure. All my life, I have been the last line of defense, and it has prepared me for this moment. I don't care if my team comes back, I don't care how many enemies wait for me when I get to my objective, all I know, is that I will get there, and either they are going down, or we all are.