Letter 1

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Summer POV

Maybe I've should have told him first, maybe I should have talked more to him but all I could do was stare at his god like face, I think maybe it was because of who he was, and although fantasy is a world I'd like to live in, the sad reality is that he's unreachable. As much as I want him,I simply just can't, because I'm not her. Oh her, I forgot about her, I envy her, she's the epiphany of perfect, and although it is a sin to want others' stuff, I'd still sin just for him.

And so here we are back to reality where I'm just a sad sad girl, with glasses and blanket to keep me warm from everyone's cold stares at school. He uses me, for many things but not the ones I want, maybe that's why he not mine because I'd do anything to get a smidge of recognition from him. I'd like to say that in his eyes I at least exist, but I know that's not the truth, in fact it's far from it, way too far. I found a letter, one I had written long ago, a confession. Ah yes, I remember it now—he'd laughed and thrown it away; along with that letter he also threw away my heart, no that he cares, I see him in my dreams, in fact I see him everywhere, maybe that's why he's disgusted at the sigh of me... Am I that ugly, is what I ask myself. I've taken down my mirror because of him, I don't dare to look at myself, maybe it's because I'm scared that old habits will resurface, not that he knows about them, I would never tell him about those cold blades that have grazed my legs, not that it has helped my appearance, maybe that's why my head hangs low I the cold hallways of the prison some call school, it's not that bad, at least i can get away from the temptation of the razor in my nightstand hidden under my trusty lamp, hidden with my inner demons. How fucked up am I? Maybe I'm just making up excuses, because I don't want to face the reality that he's never going to be mines, he is her possession, she said quite a few times actually, she says it in my face because then she is able to see my tears, so by the time he comes around I'll still be waiting for him, because dreaming is not yet illegal.
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Hey guys, it's the author just wanted to say thank you for reading my story

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P.S sorry that this a short chapter

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 28, 2022 ⏰

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