Pianos are STUPID

My name, Bond. Gerty Bond. Only messing, it's Gerty Jones.

But call me Jonie Balony, everyone does.

But that's not the point.

My mam calls me Gertrude.

I have enough names in me head to fill up a sock.

My dad owns a chipper.

But I ain't fat, I look like a green bean. But not the fat ones. And I'm not green.

I am the best dancer you ever gonna see, so don't go to many shows and it will stay that way.

Also, I HATE THE PIANO.

Pianos are STUPID.

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The potato was on the floor,

I did not mean to stand on it.

Potato gods forgive me, I have sinned.

MY dad raised me to be better to respect potatoes, he is the one that throws them in scalding oil.

It's a good way to die, if there ever was one.

"JOANIE" he screamed "I can't live in a house where you show no respect to potatoes, you are out of control young lady and thus Im sending you to live with your mother"

I almost screamed.

My mother was a black hole, she was a happiness shucker, she was like OBSESSED when I say obsessed I mean it. OBseesed with PIANO's

Piano's are stupid.

And she calls me GERTRUDE, instead of Joanie balony which is what all me and my street crew call me, We are called the Smockin' Cucumbers and our fame was about to soar

Our rap about five a day had gotten 66 views on youtube

and one comment that was the best you could ask for.

"Thanks it made my two year old lick a carrot with chocolate on it,"

Pianos are stupid.

Raps are cool.

Joanie Balony does not play THE PIANO

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The piano was in my room.

I hated it, ugly piece of junk. Smelly, ugly piece of junk.

I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU< I HATE YOU.

Piano's are STUPID.

I wanted to be a dancer, not a pianist.

One averagely, boring day, I  was strolling, when my whole life and destiny flashed before my eyes. I suddenly realised that I was living my mam's dream, and she thought she could just steal my life to make up for her shabby childhood. I was caught in a moment of thought, but unfortunately, the location was on a busy road. I didn't realise the fact that I was daydreaming, and the next thing I knew, I was dead, thanks to a mighty, ugly, ferocious, smelly grunting truck, delivering my new piano. Blecchhhh.

PIANOS ARE STUPID.